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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

major cities are rapidly dvelopling making younger genenertaion face problems. what are the problems and write solutions for it

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Introduction
In recent years, cities have rapidly grown to a larger extent.
While
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such
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 a growth comes with a disadvantage,
people
Use synonyms
 facing it are obliged to find solutions related to it.
This
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 essay will discuss the problems faced by youth and put forward various solutions .
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, urbanisation has led to
crowding
Correct article usage
the crowding
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 of the locality.
This
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 is because streets have become narrower, making
people
Use synonyms
's lives difficult. A clear example of it is construction work going on everywhere in the corner of the city, making street vendors sell goods on the road, creating
nusence
Correct your spelling
noise
.
As a result
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, the younger generation faces difficulties carrying out routine activities. Another major concern is various kinds of pollution,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could be either water, air or noise pollution.
Due to
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 global warming and the rise in population
number
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apply
show examples
, future generations might face scarcity of resources and health issues.
For example
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, more and more
number of
Check wording
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are using automobiles functioning on fuel, which will decrease the air quality index, eventually raising
health related
Correct your spelling
health-related
 disorders like lung diseases.
Body paragraph 2
There are various solutions for it,
only
Rephrase
apply
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if taken seriously.
Firstly
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,
thegovernment
Correct your spelling
the government
 should take action
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to regulate unwanted and illegal construction going on.
This
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 could make the streets easy to commute and
covenient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for running basic errands.
Secondly
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, individuals can switch to eco-friendly vehicles, making the environment pollution -free. Apart from that, governing bodies should implement stricter rules
for making earth
Wrong verb form
to make Earth
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 a better place for the upcoming generation.
This
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Body paragraph 3
LINKING WORDS
Body paragraph 4
Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
Body paragraph 5
is
Correct pronoun usage
This is
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 possible by educating
people
Use synonyms
 and forming policies related to it.
Conclusion
In conclusion, major cities' rapid development
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a negative impact on youth.
While
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 the
governmnet
Correct your spelling
government
 is responsible for it,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
citizens
also
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 have a greater role in preventing the rising concern of global gas emission, mental well-being , health related isuues and illegal activities.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. Name the main problems first, such as crowding, high costs, air pollution, and stress. Then give one clear solution for each problem.
task response
Make the link to young people clearer. Explain how each problem affects study, work, travel, health, or finding a home.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain why more cars cause poor air and how better buses or trains can help.
task response
Keep examples clear and real. The point about work sites and street sellers is useful, but explain how it causes a problem for young people.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion. Each body part should have one main purpose.
coherence and cohesion
Do not add text that is not part of the essay. The part about linking words breaks the flow and should be removed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “Firstly”, “For example”, and “As a result” are good, but some sentences still feel joined too loosely. Make each sentence lead clearly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Finish all sentences and avoid very long sentences. The sentence starting “This” near the end is not complete, so the idea is unclear.
task response
You discuss both problems and solutions, so the essay stays on the main subject.
task response
You give useful ideas about crowding, pollution, cars, and rules from the government.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “To begin with”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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