IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
A group of people believe that the problem of
drugs
Use synonyms
 may be controlled by just
implementing legalizing
Change the spelling
legalising
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 in
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. I largely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement,
will
Correct word choice
and will
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discuss it in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs with
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples.
Body paragraph 1
There are so many reasons for not making rules like
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 people may suffer from various
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 in future. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, so many people are suffering from mental issues
due to
Linking Words
 consuming
overload
Correct article usage
an overload
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 of illegal
drugs
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by
WHO
Correct article usage
the WHO
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 (
WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION
Fix capitalization
World Health Organisation
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)
that
Verb problem
found that
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 79% of individuals faced mental and physical problems after consuming
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is really essential
to
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apply
show examples
not
implemented
Wrong verb form
to implement
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this
Linking Words
 type of law.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another reason is that they may be addicted
with
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to
show examples
 it and
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 illegal activities like robbery and murder. To explain it, if they may not get illegal
drugs
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, they can go to stores and steal the items for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 consumption.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tenagers
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teenagers
 may addict with
this
Linking Words
 item
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will ruin their future. Because
tenagers
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teenagers
 are like copycat they are
coping
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copying
show examples
 to see their parents.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are so many reasons for not implementing
this
Linking Words
 rule in any
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it will ruin
adults
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adults'
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 and
grown-ups career
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grown-ups' careers
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 and indirectly suggest
them
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to them
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for doing
Wrong verb form
to do
show examples
 activities like robbery.

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task response
State your main view more clearly: you disagree because making all drugs legal would cause more harm, not solve the problem.
task response
Answer the key idea in the question. Explain why making drugs legal would not stop drug use, crime, or health problems. Your essay mostly says drugs are harmful, but it does not fully show why legal drugs would fail to solve the problem.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. For example: if drugs are easy to buy, more people may use them; this can lead to illness, addiction, and more pressure on hospitals.
task response
Use examples that directly support your point. The WHO example needs a clear source and a full explanation. Do not use a number unless you are sure it is correct.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Begin each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then explain it and give one example. Do not put several different ideas in the same paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: “First,” “For example,” “As a result,” “However,” and “In conclusion.” This will show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second paragraph clearer. The point about people stealing from stores is not fully explained. Say why addiction may lead some people to crime when they need money for drugs.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “so many reasons” and “illegal drugs.” Use clear words such as “these substances,” “this policy,” and “this problem.”
task response
You give a clear overall view that you do not support making all drugs legal.
task response
You include two relevant concerns: health harm and addiction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use examples and linking words such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “To conclude.”
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • legalization
  • decriminalization
  • black market
  • trafficking
  • public health
  • quality control
  • addiction treatment
  • revenue generation
  • stigma
  • decrease
  • shift in public perception
  • health issue
  • model
  • effective
  • drug-related deaths
What to do next:
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