IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below gives information about the changes in the prices of three different mentls between 2016 and 2024.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The bar chart below gives information about the changes in the prices of three different mentls between 2016 and 2024.
The bar graph illustrates the
prices
Check wording
price
show examples
 changes of three types of metals over a
certian
Correct your spelling
certain
 time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
zinc
Use synonyms
 and aluminium experience
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
price
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 lead tends
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
not
show
Verb problem
to show
show examples
 any significant changes over the period.
Zinc
Use synonyms
 is in the
top
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
lead from 2016 to 2024 out of all
theree
Correct your spelling
three
 categories, which started from 2100
dollars
Use synonyms
. Its
price
Use synonyms
 gradually increased
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it
experiences
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a slight drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 in 2022,
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2700
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it ends up at 3400
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2024. Followed by
zinc
Use synonyms
, aluminium
also
Linking Words
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to show
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 prices over time. In 2016, it
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 from the lowest cost at 1700
dollars
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 up
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 by little. Its
price
Use synonyms
surpasses
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 lead in 2020,
while
Linking Words
 it will have a lower value in 2022, and resulted as 3300
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2024.
Lastly
Linking Words
, unlike the other two metals, lead did not show any dramatic change in prices as it remained
stabled
Replace the word
stable
 between the
price
Use synonyms
 range of 1800 and 2000
dollars
Use synonyms
. Lead started off in the second lead
following
Punctuation problem
, following
show examples
zinc
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the ranking of cost went to the
last
Linking Words
 place
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the three, and remained
unchangd
Correct your spelling
unchanged
 from 2020 until 2024.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words zinc, price, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: