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Band 6.5

It is very common for people to change both their habits and their opinions as they get older. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write band 7 essay

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Introduction
It is very common for
people
Use synonyms
 to
change
Use synonyms
 their habits and
opinions
Use synonyms
 as they grow older. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because
people
Use synonyms
's priorities,
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 and life experiences
change
Use synonyms
 over time.
As a result
Linking Words
, they often develop different lifestyles and perspectives.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
people
Use synonyms
's habits
change
Use synonyms
 is that their
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 increase with age. When
people
Use synonyms
 are young, they usually have more free time to participate in hobbies and social activities.
However
Linking Words
, as they become adults, they often have to manage their careers, family
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 and household commitments.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they may have less time for activities they enjoyed in childhood.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who regularly played sports as a teenager may stop playing frequently after starting a full-time job because of a busy schedule.
This
Linking Words
 does not necessarily mean that they have completely lost interest; rather, their priorities have changed.
Body paragraph 2
People
Use synonyms
's
opinions
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 tend to
change
Use synonyms
 because they gain knowledge and experience throughout their lives. Young
people
Use synonyms
 may form
opinions
Use synonyms
 based on limited information or the influence of their family and friends. As they encounter different situations, meet
people
Use synonyms
 from diverse backgrounds and learn from their mistakes, their perspectives can become more balanced.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone who once believed that changing jobs frequently was the best way to achieve success might later realise the value of job stability and long-term career development after gaining professional experience.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that
people
Use synonyms
 commonly
change
Use synonyms
 their habits and
opinions
Use synonyms
 as they grow older. Increasing
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 can influence their daily routines,
while
Linking Words
 greater knowledge and life experience can lead them to reconsider their views.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these changes are a natural part of personal development.

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task response
Your answer clearly agrees with the idea and gives two main reasons: more work and family duties, and more life experience. To make it even stronger, add one more small, real example from your own life or from a person you know.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but you could explain the link between age and change in a little more depth. For example, say how having a child, losing time, or meeting new people can change a person’s daily choices and views.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each main part has one clear idea. Keep using this simple plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “However”, “Consequently”, “For example”, and “Therefore”. To avoid using links too often, sometimes join ideas with a short sentence instead.
coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats the main ideas well. You could make it more direct by ending with one short final thought about why change is a normal part of life.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and make your view clear from the first paragraph.
task response
The examples fit your main points well: less time for sport after full-time work, and a new view of job change after work experience.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are easy to follow, and each one stays on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The move from habits to opinions is smooth and clear, so the reader can follow your argument without trouble.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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