school teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Introduction
It has
a
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apply
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been a long topic of
bebt wether tutors or parents should
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debate whether tutors or parents should be
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responsible for student communication and life skills. From my
view
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view,
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both of them are responsible.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, kids and teenagers spend more time at school than
their
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at
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home
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home,
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therefore
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they are more likely to learn and receive the advices from their teachers.
Body paragraph 2
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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students easily
influnce
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influence
each others especially when it
relate
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relates
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to good habits and moral
attutdes
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attitudes
.
That is
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the main reason teachers have a key role in developing the intellectual and social skills for pupil
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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,
family
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the family
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has the most significant role in their children's personality and
overall
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behaviors
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behaviours
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.
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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they should be more aware
about
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of
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creating
safe
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a safe
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and
suuportive
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supportive
environment for better generations.
Conclusion
I strongly believe it should be
mutual
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a mutual
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responsibility and involve both
family
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the family
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and
schools
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school
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teachers to be more conscious and understand
for
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the
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kids
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kids'
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needs.

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task response
Your main view is clear: both parents and teachers share this job. However, answer the question more directly. Say how far you agree or disagree with the idea that teachers are more responsible than parents.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain what teachers do at school, such as group work, rules, and lessons. Explain what parents do at home, such as teaching values, care, and daily behaviour.
task response
Add clear real-life examples. For example, a teacher may help a child work with others in class, while parents may teach the child how to speak and act at home.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear two-part plan: teachers first and parents next. Keep this plan, but make the link to your main view stronger in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more carefully: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. This will help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Write a fuller ending. Restate that both sides have important but different jobs, and clearly say which side has more responsibility, if either one does.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form and word choice, as some errors make the meaning less clear. For example, write 'whether', 'debate', 'influence', 'attitudes', and 'supportive'.
task response
You give a clear opinion that parents and teachers should work together.
task response
You include ideas about school time, peer influence, family life, and a safe home.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and discuss both teachers and parents.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph returns to your main view and gives the essay a basic ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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