Some people believe that having children leads to happiness. Do you think that people who do not have children can find happiness? What other factors in a person's life affect happiness?

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Introduction
In today’s world, having
children
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is a debated issue. Some people believe that having
children
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can lead to
happiness
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,
while
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others believe the opposite. I firmly believe that
happiness
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can be found in many things in
life
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besides
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having
children
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.
Moreover
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, feelings of
happiness
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can be found in several aspects of a person’s
life
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,
such
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as meaningful relationships, financial satisfaction, and the stability and
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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that a career provides.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, people without
children
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often have more quality time to invest in themselves. Raising a child today requires money, time, effort, and long-term commitment, which can limit choices regarding careers and lifestyles. Individuals with two or three
children
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, or more, frequently face financial pressure
due to
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expenses related to food, clothing, healthcare, and education.
In contrast
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, child-free individuals often have more flexibility and can pursue personal growth, travel, or educational development.
This
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freedom allows them to shape their lives
according to
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their own goals, which can be a major source of
happiness
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.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, there are various factors that can affect each person’s
life
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and contribute to feelings of
happiness
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. Meaningful relationships are one of the most important factors. Having a best friend who calls you
at the end
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of the day can be one of the best things in anyone’s
life
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.
Therefore
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, financial satisfaction can
also
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contribute to
happiness
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. Being able to buy what you want without worrying about your bank account can provide a sense of comfort and satisfaction. A stable career that provides a good salary and a good reputation
at the end
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of each month can
also
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contribute to
happiness
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. All of these things can make a person feel happy, joyful, and satisfied.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
happiness
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can be found with or without
children
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. I believe that a sense of
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
can be found in every aspect of
life
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, and there are many factors that can allow anyone to experience feelings of joy and
happiness
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. Ultimately,
happiness
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depends on individual values and
life
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choices rather than on parenthood alone.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your ideas stronger, add one clear real-life example. For example, show how a person without children may find joy through work, travel, or close friends.
task response
Your main view is clear: people can be happy with or without children. You could also say more about why some parents feel happy, so the answer feels more balanced.
task response
Some points need more detail. For example, explain how a good job gives more than money: it can give a person purpose, pride, and a sense of growth.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep each body paragraph focused on one main point. The second body paragraph has friends, money, and work together, so it may be clearer to give each idea its own short paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use links such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “In addition” to show more clearly how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “happiness” and “can contribute to happiness” many times. Use simple changes such as “feel content”, “feel good”, or “have a full life”.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and answer the full question.
task response
Your ideas about time, money, close friends, and work are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your main idea, and the conclusion returns to it well.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs follow a logical order, and words like “To begin with”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal fulfilment
  • a sense of purpose
  • emotional support
  • close-knit relationships
  • meaningful work
  • pursue personal goals
  • financial security
  • daily pressures
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • physical health
  • quality time
  • a supportive partner
  • social connections
  • freedom of choice
  • life satisfaction
  • raise a family
  • financial burden
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