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Band 6

The two pie charts below shows the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years .

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The two pie charts below shows the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years .
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of different kinds of
energy
Use synonyms
 production in France in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentages of
gas
Use synonyms
,
petro
Use synonyms
 and coal dominated
energy
Use synonyms
 production in both years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other sources and nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 accounted for the least. In 1995,
gas
Use synonyms
, coal and
petro
Use synonyms
 had similar percentages
, the
Punctuation problem
;
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gas
Use synonyms
 took 29.63%,
caol
Correct your spelling
coal
 occupied 29.80% ,and
petro
Use synonyms
 accounted for 29.27%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other resources represented 4.90% in total, as for nuclear, which taken 6.40%. After 10 years,
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal were still the important
energy
Use synonyms
 sources in France.
However
Linking Words
, the result showed that
petro
Use synonyms
 declined sharply, just accounted for 19.55% in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other
energy
Use synonyms
 resources increased slightly. Even though these figures could not surpass others, the data
represented
Verb problem
showed
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 that nuclear
increased
Check wording
energy increased
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 by approximately 3% and other
energy
Use synonyms
 resources moved on 9.10% in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, petro with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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