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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university . what arethe advantages and disadvantages of this?

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is true that more and more
people
Use synonyms
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to have a gap
year
Use synonyms
 before going to university. In my opinion, I think there are advantages and
disadvanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
Body paragraph 1
For those who are still
confusing
Replace the word
confused
 about their future and need more time to think about which field
worth
Verb problem
is worth
show examples
 step in, a
year
Use synonyms
 off might be a good choice.
For example
Linking Words
, some students choose to join in experiencial learning trip across
border
Correct article usage
the border
show examples
, to learn differet culture and meet different
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
,
show examples
 which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can expand their knowledge and explore what they
really
Verb problem
are really
show examples
 passionate about. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective,
people
Use synonyms
 who have a
year
Use synonyms
 gap can alleviate
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 anxiety of their unknown future and be
more clear
Replace the word
clearer
 about themselves and build a long-term
carrer
Use the right word
career
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, a
year
Use synonyms
 off might have
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
people
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, without
Punctuation problem
. Without
show examples
 any clear goals or plans for an entire
year
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 might experience a decline in their expectations of themselves and their self-confidence as well.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 diminish their motivation to explore themselves and the world
,
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 under
this
Linking Words
 situation for over a
year
Use synonyms
 may affect their mental well-being, and make it more difficult for them to go back to school.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think a
year
Use synonyms
 off can be a reasonable choice rather than
rush
Wrong verb form
rushing
show examples
 to university with an unclear goal
, a
Punctuation problem
. A
show examples
 period of time for planning and thinking ahead is better for students
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 wisely decision for their own life.

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Task response
You answer both parts of the question: the good and bad sides of taking a year off. Your main view is clear. To make the answer stronger, explain each point in more depth. For example, say how travel, work, or study can help a student choose a course or gain skills.
Task response
Your example about a learning trip is on topic, but it is not very full. Add one clear, real-type example, such as a student who works in a hospital before choosing to study health care.
Task response
The bad side needs a clearer cause and result. A year off does not always lower confidence or harm mental health. Say that this may happen when a student has no plan, no work, and little support.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, good side, bad side, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “One advantage is…”, “Another benefit is…”, “On the other hand…”, and “As a result…”. Do not use “people” many times in one long sentence; name the group again, such as “students” or “young people”.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas with commas. Split them into shorter sentences. This will make your meaning more clear and your points easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion more direct. State that a gap year is useful if students use it with a plan, but it can be harmful if they spend the year with no clear aim.
Task response
You give a balanced answer by discussing both the benefits and the possible problems of a gap year.
Task response
The point about students having time to learn about themselves and choose a future field is clear and relevant.
Coherence and cohesion
Each main idea has its own paragraph, and the words “However” and “In conclusion” help show the change of ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to your main view that planning time can help students make a wise choice.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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