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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their houses rather than buy their housees. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

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Introduction
In some states, the public
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to
rent
Use synonyms
 their flats or houses rather than purchasing them. In
this
Linking Words
 essay ,I will discuss both points of view ,
privileges
Correct article usage
the privileges
show examples
 and the drawbacks of renting a
property
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one hand,many people would prefer to
rent
Use synonyms
 their accommodation place rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 it as a
property
Use synonyms
, because of the strict policies some
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 put
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 purchasing homes .
In other words
Linking Words
, some countries don't give the right for their citizens to own the land and
takes
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 high taxes as a
funds
Check wording
source of funding
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some individuals preferred to
rent
Use synonyms
monthly
Correct article usage
a monthly
show examples
 or yearly
residence
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of purchasing their own accommodation
property
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
 areas, owning
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land is considered difficult because of the high cost and rapid changes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
instead
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
individuals
rent
Use synonyms
appartments
Correct your spelling
apartments
 or even villas as a better option and more
flexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
 to change and
upergrade
Correct your spelling
upgrade
 their
residence
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand , renting is not the best option every time ,
mostly
Rephrase
especially
show examples
 when financial problems appear.
Moreover
Linking Words
, financial problems destroy individuals who
rent
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a
show examples
residence
Use synonyms
 because they will face a challenge to pay bills and may be kicked
later
Verb problem
out later
show examples
 on .
While
Linking Words
 people who
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
show examples
 their
property
Use synonyms
, at least
Body paragraph 3
stay remain in their shelter.
For example
Linking Words
 , a man who bought a home
last
Linking Words
 year faced a argent obstacle and lost all his money
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 if his home was
in
Replace the word
rented
rent
Use synonyms
, he
properly
Verb problem
would
show examples
 be homeless by now .
Body paragraph 4
In conclusion, buying and renting a
residence
Use synonyms
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on many points and perspectives of the public.
Body paragraph 5
Therefore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 depends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
your state rules and laws .
Conclusion
I

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task response
You answer both parts of the task: the good and bad sides of renting. However, make each main idea clearer. For the good side, focus on lower first cost and the freedom to move. For the bad side, focus on rent payments, less safety, and no home of your own.
task response
Some ideas are not fully clear. For example, explain why rules and taxes make buying hard. Then show how renting helps people in that case. Add one clear example for each main point.
task response
Your ending is too short and does not sum up the main good and bad points. Write a clear final view, such as: renting is good for people who need to move, but buying can give more safety in the long term.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Your essay has this basic shape, but some parts need clearer links between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one direct topic sentence. For example: "One advantage of renting is that it gives people more freedom to move." Then explain it and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are useful, but do not use "Moreover" when the next idea is not an extra point. Use "As a result", "For this reason", or "However" when they fit the meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long sentences with many ideas. Split them into short sentences, so the reader can follow your point more easily. Also check that each example clearly supports the point before it.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages of renting, so the essay stays on the topic.
task response
You use real-life examples, such as high home costs in cities and a person who loses money. These help show your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. This gives it a clear basic order.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show contrast between the two sides by using phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rent a home
  • buy a house
  • housing cost
  • move easily
  • save money
  • low income
  • middle income
  • repair work
  • the owner
  • monthly rent
  • build wealth
  • long-term plan
  • rent goes up
  • feel stable
  • have less control
  • make changes
  • live near family
  • new job
  • surprise costs
  • a sense of home
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