IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than repair existing items. Why do you think this is? How can this trend be reversed?"

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Introduction
Nowadays,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 percentage of individuals
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to buy new products
instead
Linking Words
 of repairing them. I think
this
Linking Words
 is a bad trend for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. These are two issues supports
this
Linking Words
 trend,
Use synonyms
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of spare parts
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 high and lack of skilled workers to do. To avoid, the
government
Use synonyms
 should increase tax on new products and brining awerness about
environments
Replace the word
environmental
 damage.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, buying new products in
this
Linking Words
 generation is
eassy
Correct your spelling
easy
 because
people
Use synonyms
 can use multiple options like EMI or Credit cards to buy. One of the major
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for repairs are spare costs are getting costly and
labour
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
, customers think buying
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
product
Use synonyms
 is equal to repairing them in
trems
Correct your spelling
terms
 of money.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of
Fan
Correct article usage
a fan
show examples
 is 50$ with
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
 1 year warrent
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 to
repair
Use synonyms
 that same fan,
atleast 10$
Correct your spelling
at least $10
 worth of parts and nearly 20$ for the
labour
Use synonyms
, total spending 30$ without any
warrent
Correct your spelling
warranty
. So
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 it is better to
new
Verb problem
buy new
show examples
 items.
In addition
Linking Words
, getting skilled
labour
Use synonyms
 appointment is very hard
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
customer
Correct article usage
the customer
show examples
 has to
booked
Wrong verb form
book
show examples
 one week ahead for any
technichian
Correct your spelling
technician
. To avoid all these
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 to
rapair
Correct your spelling
repair
 old
mechin
Correct your spelling
machinery
,it is better to buy
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
product
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
Solution
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should increase tax on new
Use synonyms
product
Check wording
products
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 action will automatically force
buyer
Correct article usage
the buyer
show examples
 to think about
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
mechinc
Correct your spelling
mechanism
, how to use it. If
Use synonyms
repair
Correct article usage
the repair
show examples
cost
Use synonyms
 50% lower than the new
product
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will choose
Use synonyms
repair
Correct article usage
the repair
show examples
 option. The
government
Use synonyms
 should bring awerness on society
,
Change preposition
about
show examples
 how disposable items damaging enviroment. By adding subject in schools and
advertsising
Correct your spelling
advertising
 on
bill boards
Correct your spelling
billboards
 around the city will bring individuals other options not
to
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 disposal.
Conclusion
In conclusion, decreasing spare parts
cost
Use synonyms
 and
labour
Use synonyms
 availability will help more
people
Use synonyms
 to
repair
Use synonyms
 old
procduct
Correct your spelling
products
. The
government
Use synonyms
 play a key role in
brining awerness
Correct your spelling
bringing awareness
 of
disposal
Correct article usage
the disposal
show examples
 damage to the future will
also
Linking Words
 help.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. You give two reasons and two ways to change the trend, but explain how each one works. For example, say why easy credit makes people buy now, and how repair help can make repair a better choice.
task response
Keep your main view clear from the start. You say this is a bad trend, but you can link it more clearly to waste and harm to the natural world.
task response
Your fan example is useful and easy to understand. Make the numbers and point more clear: repair is cheaper, but a new fan has a new-use promise, so people may feel it is safer to buy new.
task response
Give more than tax as a government step. The state could help repair shops, ask firms to make parts cheap, or make goods that are easy to fix. This would make your answer more full.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: first part with your view, one part for reasons, one part for ways to change the trend, and a final short end.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main part with one clear idea. For example: "There are two main reasons why people buy new goods." Then explain cost first and lack of repair workers next.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words to show the order of ideas: "First", "Also", "As a result", and "To deal with this". Do not use many link words if the link is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow because key words are missing. Write full forms such as "people think it is better to buy a new item" instead of "it is better to new items".
coherence and cohesion
Make the final part match the body. In the body, you call for higher tax and more public messages; in the end, repeat these same main ways in a short, clear form.
task response
You address both the reasons for the trend and ways to stop it.
task response
The fan example gives a real-life reason why some people may choose a new product.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body parts, and a final end.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful links such as "On the one hand", "For example", "In addition", and "In conclusion".
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Disposable society
  • Consumer culture
  • Status symbol
  • Globalization
  • Built-in obsolescence
  • Cost-effective
  • Repair skills
  • Environmental consequences
  • Resource depletion
  • Recycling
  • Right-to-repair legislation
  • Sustainability
  • Economic incentives
  • Circular economy
  • Refurbishing
  • Product lifespan
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