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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree?

5.5 / 9
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Introduction
Some
people
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 believe that individuals and the community should give the
future
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 full concentration. Others,
however
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, argue that
people
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 should focus more on the present. From my perspective,
people
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 have to pay more attention to the
future
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instead
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 of focusing merely on the present.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, it is difficult to find an appropriate opportunity at present.
This
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 is because the results take
time
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 to appear, and we can only control tomorrow's
time
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, not yesterday's
time
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.
For example
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,
people
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 who dedicate their
time
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 and effort to trial and error and plan their
future
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 can see remarkable results after a
while
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.
Moreover
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,
although
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 some
people
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 may feel anxiety and confusion, paying attention to the
future
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 is worth the effort.
Such
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 as saving money, building a house, improve professional skills.
Body paragraph 2
Regarding the present, there are some problems that can not be solved if
people
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 think merely about the present.
This
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 is because goals and solutions take
time
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 to appear properly.
For instance
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, climate change has a profoundly negative impact on
people
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's lives; there are countermeasure can be taken,
this
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 countermeasure takes
time
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 as well.
This
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 leads
people
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 to solve complex problems by selecting, planning, and addressing, which absolutely takes a significant
time
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 in the
future
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, not just about the present.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the only way to develop and level up for humans is to absolutely think about the
future
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. The next-step approach can lead
people
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 to a thriving
future
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 in all corners of life.

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task response
Give a clearer answer from the start. Say that you agree people should plan for the future, but they should not ignore life today. This will make your view more complete.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say how planning helps people save money, get better at work, or deal with climate change.
task response
Use one clear, real example in each main part. The list about saving money, a house, and work skills needs more detail and a full sentence.
task response
Avoid very strong words such as "the only way" and "absolutely." The question asks about more attention, not only attention.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this shape, but make each main part focus on one idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas clearer. In the first main part, the point about controlling tomorrow is not easy to understand. State the main idea first, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links in a natural way: "First," "Also," "For example," and "As a result." Do not begin a sentence with "Such as"; put it after a full idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make the climate change part easier to follow. Explain what people can do now and why the work will help in the future.
task response
You give a clear view that planning for the future is important.
task response
You choose useful ideas, including work skills, saving money, and climate change.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs and includes both an opening and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as "For example," "Moreover," and "In conclusion."
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long-term planning
  • future generations
  • meet present needs
  • a balanced approach
  • financial security
  • save for retirement
  • develop marketable skills
  • preventive action
  • tackle urgent problems
  • public wellbeing
  • climate change adaptation
  • sustainable development
  • short-term pressure
  • long-term consequences
  • quality of life
  • public investment
  • an ageing population
  • live in the present
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