IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You are planning a visit to another city. Write to a friend there asking for advice about places to visit.

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Dear Ahmed, I hope you are doing well. I am writing with pleasure because I am going to
Goe
Correct your spelling
Go
 City next week. So, I would be grateful to advise me about the place, including hotel price, the season, famous restaurants and meals, and
Correct article usage
the
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specific site.
Firstly
Linking Words
, could you please advise me about the rank of
hotel
Correct article usage
the hotel
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 in
area
Correct article usage
the area
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 there? Because I am looking for
rank
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apply
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a 5- star hotel. Could you please advise me about the suitable season to visit? As you know, I prefer summer
Secondly
Linking Words
, could you please advise me
the
Change preposition
on the
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 famous restaurants and local meals? Because I like seafood meals. Could you please advise me about the most famous site
there
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apply
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to spend my lunchtime there? And is there any possibility
to join
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of joining
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 me?
Finally
Linking Words
,
l
Correct your spelling
I
 look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Saif

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task response
Ask more clearly about places to visit. Give one or two kinds of places you want to see, such as parks, old buildings, or shops.
task response
Use clear questions. For example, write “Could you tell me the price of a five-star hotel?” instead of “advise me about the rank of hotel”.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. However, put hotel and weather in one paragraph, then food and places in another paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “Could you please advise me” many times. Use other words, such as “Could you tell me” or “I would also like to know”.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and clearer. For example: “I prefer warm weather, so is summer a good time to visit?”
task response
You ask about hotels, weather, food, and a place to visit. These points fit the purpose of the letter.
coherence and cohesion
You use a friendly greeting and a suitable closing. The letter is easy to follow because you use “Firstly”, “Secondly”, and “Finally”.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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