IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You are planning a visit to another city. Write to a friend there asking for advice about places to visit.

3.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Ahmed, I hope you
doing
Verb problem
are doing
show examples
 well. I am writing to ask you to give me advice about different features there
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 hotel rank with suitable accommodation,
favorite
Correct determiner usage
the favourite
show examples
 season for tourists and
historical
Correct article usage
the historical
show examples
site
Check wording
sites
show examples
. Because I will visit your town next summer in May , specifically in Geo City. It’s near your house.
Firstly
Linking Words
, could you tell me where
should I
Correct word order
I should
show examples
 stay? As you
know
Punctuation problem
know,
show examples
 I prefer
near
Check wording
a hotel near
show examples
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 beach and a 5-star hotel. What is the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
season
form
Use the right word
for
show examples
 tourists? Because I prefer summer and autumn.
Secondly
Linking Words
, is there any chance to spend lunchtime in
God
Correct article usage
the God
show examples
 statue?
Finally
Linking Words
, I would be very grateful to
join
Verb problem
have you join
show examples
 me for
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a discussion and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fun together. I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Saif

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ask more clearly about places to visit. Name the kind of old places, parks, or beaches you want to see.
task response
Make each question easy to understand. For example: “What is the best time for tourists to visit?”
coherence and cohesion
Put one main point in each part: where to stay, when to go, and what to visit.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “Also”, “Then”, and “Finally” to join your ideas.
language and tone
Use full forms in key lines: “I hope you are well” and “I would be very happy if you could join me.”
task response
You ask about a hotel, the best time to visit, and a place to see.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, main parts, and a kind closing.
language and tone
The friendly tone is right for writing to a friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: