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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

this will be the end of our discussion on "negative or positive development essays. More and more people today are becoming overly dependent on the internet and phones. Is this a positive or negative development?

1.5 / 9
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Introduction
Form
Use the right word
From
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 my view, I believe that the impact of the
internet
Use synonyms
 depends on the user awareness. It has a positive impact on learners
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
student
Check wording
students
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.
For example
Linking Words
, they can use the
internet
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 to learn new
kowladage
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, gain
advices
Check wording
advice
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 from
expertise
Check wording
experts
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, or search for deeper information and articles. Beside student,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 can help any person who
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to learn a new language as well.
Body paragraph 1
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 can have a negative effect if the
user intent was
Correct word order
user's intent is
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 not clear. People who use
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 without a goal
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will waste their time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will scroll and
moving
Wrong verb form
move
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 from app to another regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
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 time and attention.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, the negative or positive impact of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 depends highly on the user. I recommend
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 the awareness of
internet
Use synonyms
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
.

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task response
Give a clear main answer in the first line. Say if this is mainly a positive or negative change. Your view now says it can be both, so the answer is not fully clear.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how online learning helps students, and explain why time on apps can harm work, study, or real life.
task response
Use more clear examples. For example, a student can watch a lesson or read a study text online. A person who scrolls for hours may not finish work or sleep well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good simple order: good side, bad side, then end. Keep this clear plan, but make each paragraph longer and more fully linked.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words to show the next idea: “For example”, “However”, “As a result”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use too many link words in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences complete and easy to follow. For example: “People who use the internet without a goal may waste time.” This is clearer than joining many ideas in one long sentence.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of internet use, and both points are linked to the topic.
task response
Your online learning example is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
You use separate paragraphs for the good side, the bad side, and the final view.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph returns to your main idea about careful internet use.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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