In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as role models and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

7.5 / 9

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Introduction

It is often argued that famous

people

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are increasingly becoming role models for young individuals in many parts of the world.

Although

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some celebrities can have a positive influence, I strongly believe that

this

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is a negative development because they may create unrealistic expectations about success and encourage young

people

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to imitate inappropriate

behaviour

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

The primary reason why I consider

this

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a negative development is that famous

people

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can create unrealistic expectations among young

people

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. Celebrities and influencers frequently display expensive clothes, luxury cars and costly holidays, particularly on social media. As young viewers are exposed to

such

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lifestyles on a regular basis, they may begin to associate success with wealth, popularity and material possessions.

For example

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, a teenager who constantly watches influencers showing expensive products may feel dissatisfied with his or her ordinary lifestyle and may even spend money unnecessarily to imitate them.

As a result

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, excessive admiration of celebrities can encourage materialism rather than realistic personal goals.

Body paragraph 2

Another concern is that young

people

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may imitate inappropriate

behaviour

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displayed by famous individuals.

This

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is because adolescents are often influenced by

people

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whom they admire, especially when those personalities have a large online following. If a celebrity promotes irresponsible

behaviour

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, unhealthy habits or offensive language, some young viewers may consider

such

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actions acceptable.

For instance

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, teenagers may copy dangerous online challenges performed by popular influencers simply because these activities attract attention.

Consequently

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, the influence of famous

people

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can affect young

people

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behaviour

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and values in undesirable ways.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

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some famous

people

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can inspire young individuals to work hard, I strongly believe that their growing influence is a negative development

overall

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because it can promote unrealistic lifestyles and inappropriate

behaviour

Use synonyms

abubakker.siddique898

Sep 29, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, add one short point about why the good side is less important than the bad side.

task response

Your two main ideas are well chosen: false hopes about money and bad acts being copied. You can make the first idea more full by saying that online posts may not show real life.

task response

Your examples fit your ideas well. Add one more small, real-life detail to each example to show how this can hurt a young person over time.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is easy to follow. Each body part has one clear main idea, and the order is natural.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words well, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “Consequently”. Try not to use too many cause-and-result links; use a few other simple links, such as “Also” or “In this way”.

coherence and cohesion

The last part sums up your main view clearly. It could be a little stronger if it briefly joined the two harms in one final thought about young people’s values.

task response

You answer the full question and give a clear negative view, while still noting that some famous people can do good.

task response

The ideas are clear, on-topic, and supported with useful examples about online posts, buying costly things, and risky online acts.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction, two body parts, and ending are in a clear order, so the reader can follow your argument easily.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph starts with a clear point and then explains it before giving an example and a result.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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In some parts of the world, many famous people are regarded as role models and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

The government should control the internet to reduce cybercrime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?