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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The depicted map outlines the information about a redesigned
cafe
Use synonyms
 in a college and the changes made to it.
Body paragraph 1
The
overall
Linking Words
 summary of the given map quite vividly illustrates that the whole
cafe
Use synonyms
's space was well utilised after the
redesigning
Replace the word
redesign
 of the
cafe
Use synonyms
. The major change was that they made a new outdoor seating area. They added more variety
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the menu by adding a salad bar near the
kitchen
Use synonyms
 entrance.
Body paragraph 2
In detail, it demonstrates that the old
cafe
Use synonyms
 was not brought into play, because the staff dining rooms were useless and just occupied. After the transformation that rooms were
then
Linking Words
 used for
take away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
 food and a coffee bar. The
kitchen
Use synonyms
 was congested
due to
Linking Words
 the combined serving area for food and drinks. In the newcafe the
kitchen
Use synonyms
 was only used for cooking and serving hot meals.
Conclusion
By
further
Linking Words
 analysis of the map,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 is well evident that the customers would love the new design of the
cafe
Use synonyms
, especially the new outdoor live barbecue
kitchen
Use synonyms
. The coffee bar was used to make all kinds of drinks and serve them .They added more recycling bins, which is a good initiative to maintain hygiene in the
cafe
Use synonyms

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task response
Give a clear main view of the biggest changes. For example, say that the old staff rooms became a coffee bar and take-away area, and that a new outdoor area was added.
task response
Report what is shown on the plans only. Do not say that customers would love the design, that rooms were useless, or that the new bins are good. These are your own ideas, not map facts.
task response
Make more direct before-and-after comparisons. Explain where each new part was placed and what old part it replaced.
task response
Check all details carefully. The essay mentions a live barbecue kitchen, but this may not be the same as the item shown on the plan. Use the exact labels from the map where possible.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part order: introduction, overall view, old plan details, and new plan details. This will make the changes easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph about one clear idea. The second body paragraph mixes old and new details, so split the comparison more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear link words such as 'before the change', 'after the change', 'in place of this', and 'while'. Avoid long opening phrases like 'By further analysis of the map'.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between sentences clear. For example: 'The staff dining rooms were removed. In their place, the college added a coffee bar and a take-away food area.'
task response
You identify several key changes, including the new outdoor seating area, the salad bar, the coffee bar, and the take-away food area.
task response
You try to give an overall view before describing details, which is a good way to answer a map task.
coherence and cohesion
The response has separate paragraphs for the opening, the main changes, and further details.
coherence and cohesion
Some change words, such as 'after the transformation' and 'in the new cafe', help the reader see the time difference between the two plans.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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