Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

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Introduction
Stress
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has become a part of modern life,
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this
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and it
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is said to be a major
cause
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for various
health
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probelms
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problems
. The main
cause
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for
this
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issue can be linked to
intense
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the intense
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working lifestyles of
hard-working
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a hard-working
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,
money hungry
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money-hungry
population. There are several ways to address
this
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issue, but the most effective
in
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, in
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my
opinion
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opinion,
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would be to create a work-life balance.
Body paragraph 1
There are several
cuases
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causes
of
this
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problem, but the most common is overstraining oneself
on
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at
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work. In
todays
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today's
expensive economy
people
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, people
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over-work
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overwork
themselves in order to maintain a proper and
a
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apply
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genuine lifestyle.
This
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type of overburdening leads to increased
stress
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levels and
also
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cause
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stress
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related
health
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problems
such
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as cardiovascular muscle deterioration, depression,
actue
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acute
anxiety, etc. An employee, for
instanse
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instance
, might do
over-time
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overtime
shifts in order to meet his daily needs and have no free time for relaxation:
this
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kind of lifestyle paves the path for depression.
Body paragraph 2
Coming to solutions, the most important one that comes to mind is to maintain a healthy professional and personal life balance.
This
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can be achieved by
collective
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the collective
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effort of the government and employers, by putting up
set
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a set
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number of working hours, no email policy after 5 pm
;
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,
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in order to make sure the employee does't worry about work after office hours. Regular counselling and mental
health
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checkups must become
mandatory
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a mandatory
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part of company policies, which might help workers suffering from ongoing mental
health
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issues.
Conclusion
In
coclusion
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conclusion
, hectic work life can
cause
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a person immense
stress
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and
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health related
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health-related
issues
but
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, but
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maintaining a work-life balance can help in overcoming
this
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situation.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question: why stress is a problem and what can be done. To make your answer stronger, add one more clear reason, such as the fast pace of city life, high costs, or the use of phones after work.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some health claims need more care. Instead of saying stress causes “cardiovascular muscle deterioration”, use a simpler and safer idea, such as heart problems, poor sleep, anxiety, and depression.
task response
Your work-life balance plan is useful. Explain more clearly how each step helps. For example, fixed work hours give people time to rest, exercise, and be with family.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, one main cause paragraph, one solution paragraph, and an ending. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, write “As a result” before the health effects, and “To deal with this problem” before the solution paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and join many ideas with commas. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one direct main idea. For example: “Long working hours are a main cause of stress.” Then give an example and explain its result.
coherence and cohesion
Check basic word forms and spelling because they can slow the reader down: “causes”, “today’s”, “acute”, “instance”, “doesn’t”, and “conclusion”.
task response
You give a direct answer to the whole question and stay on the topic throughout the essay.
task response
The example of a worker doing extra shifts is relevant and helps show how long work hours can lead to stress.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas move in a sensible order, from causes to solutions, and the ending clearly restates your view.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing well, and phrases such as “For instance” help introduce an example.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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