IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

It is often argued that every town and city should provide large public outdoor areas such as parks and squares. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Introduction
Body paragraph 1
In recent years,
town
Check wording
towns
show examples
 and city has become an increasingly important issue. Some people argue that
should
Correct pronoun usage
we should
show examples
provise
Correct your spelling
provide
 large public outdoor
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as parks and squares. I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because its provide relax time and to know your
nighborhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
.
Body paragraph 2
One of the main reasons for my position is that provide relaxation from home and works.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly important because some people need time with family
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 all the time stay in home.
For example
Linking Words
,
me and my family evey weeks
Correct word order
my family and I every week
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
want to park
nearby
Change preposition
near
show examples
 our home to spend amezing moment
togther
Correct your spelling
together
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 strong
bound
Replace the word
bonds
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 provides strong support for the view that
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am with .
Body paragraph 3
Another significant reason is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to know your
nighborhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhood
.
This
Linking Words
 can be explained by the fact that if you have good
commeunaction
Correct your spelling
communication
 and social
interactio
Correct your spelling
interaction
 that lead to psychological well-being .
For instance
Linking Words
, a well-designed urban park may include walking paths, playgrounds and open spaces for recreational activities. People can.
Consequently
Linking Words
,maintain a more active lifestyle
while
Linking Words
 taking a break from the pressures of urban living.
This
Linking Words
 can improve physical fitness and contribute to better psychological well-being.
Body paragraph 4
Conclusion
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that every town and city should provide substantial public outdoor areas. They encourage healthier lifestyles, offer relief from urban pressures and create opportunities for residents to interact.
Such
Linking Words
 facilities are
therefore
Linking Words
 an essential component of well-planned cities.

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Task response
State your view clearly and keep it the same. Your start says you largely agree, but your end says strongly agree. Choose one clear view.
Task response
Develop each main idea more fully. Explain how parks help family time, health, and meeting other people. Add why these points matter for all towns and cities.
Task response
Use clear and full examples. The family example is useful, but explain what families do in parks and how this helps them. The second example stops at “People can,” so it does not fully support the point.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two body parts, and end. However, some ideas are not fully linked. Make sure each body part has one main idea, an explanation, an example, and a short result.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Words such as “For example,” “As a result,” and “Therefore” are helpful, but the sentence after each one must be complete and clear.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid very short or unfinished sentences, such as “People can.” Also rewrite unclear parts like “Therefore, this provides strong support for the view that i am with.” Say exactly what the point proves.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple, clear topic sentences. For example: “First, parks give families a place to relax together.” Then keep all the next sentences about family time.
Task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view that public outdoor areas are important.
Task response
You choose relevant ideas: family time, relaxation, health, and social contact.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present, and the conclusion gives a useful summary of the main ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing and some linking words to guide the reader through the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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