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Band 4.5

Some people feel that the primary function of a university should be to prepare students for the working world. Others argue that the purpose of a university education is to provide knowledge for knowledge’s sake. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
There has been an ongoing debate about
University
Use synonyms
 education. Some argue that
university
Use synonyms
 courses are for getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future employment,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 for
rising
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 awareness only.
Body paragraph 1
There are several compelling reasons why many people regard
that prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 students for the working world as the central mission of
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
. In today's society, institutions help students
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 job requirements.
This
Linking Words
 drives required skills
by
Verb problem
are developed by
show examples
 searching for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 could
ocuppate
Correct your spelling
occupy
 a position under pressure and can get through international communication. From
this
Linking Words
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
high
Replace the word
higher
 education
institution fulfill
Correct subject-verb agreement
institutions fulfil
show examples
graduates
Check wording
graduates'
show examples
 goals, student went through these requirements from the first year in the educational institution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, engineers
approximately
Rephrase
apply
show examples
learn and
beffer
Correct your spelling
improve
 their job tasks from universities. which highlights
dealing
Correct word choice
that dealing
show examples
 with machines and factories is so
sensative
Correct word choice
sensitive
show examples
 and it takes more than
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
show examples
 to enter the work field.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is widely acknowledged that the purpose of a academy education is to
rise
Verb problem
raise
show examples
 awareness only.
This
Linking Words
 implies that the working world needs experience
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diploma.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Phd
Change the punctuation
PhD
show examples
 holders spend more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 nine years to gain the
Phd
Change the punctuation
PhD
show examples
 diploma regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 other academic years. Since they are aware of
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 pathway and chose it rather than work experience, the research
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to innovation but does not provide experienced workers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the universities recruited at least
Phd
Capitalize the proper name
PhD
show examples
 holders to provide new
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
 eventually because it matters for the academic pathway.
Conclusion
In conclusion,I firmly believe that all educational institutions provide aquisition of occupational skills as soft skills, and prepare them to work. Meanwhile, the
university
Use synonyms
 lectures
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 for
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 preparation.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 providing awareness
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 lectures is not sufficient, the true value of the
University
Use synonyms
 lies in
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 students for
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 world.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view, which is good. However, your ideas are often hard to understand. State each view in a clear way, then explain why people hold it.
task response
For the work view, explain that many students need skills for a job, such as how to use tools, solve problems, and work with other people. Use one clear example, such as engineers needing safe training before working with machines.
task response
For the knowledge view, explain that university can help people think deeply, do research, and learn about the world. Do not say this view is only about not having work experience; that does not fully answer the question.
task response
Make your own view clear from the start and keep it the same. You can say that job skills are very important, but learning for its own value also helps society.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph for job training, one paragraph for knowledge, and conclusion. Give each paragraph one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Start each main paragraph with a clear topic sentence. For example: “One reason universities should prepare students for work is that employers need skilled staff.”
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In contrast”. Avoid using a link when the next sentence does not clearly follow the first.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and meaning. Some lines are unclear, such as the part about finding people who can work under pressure. Say exactly who is doing what and why.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should sum up both sides before giving the final view. Keep it short and avoid new ideas there.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you present both views and give a clear final opinion.
task response
The example of engineers and machine work is linked to the idea that some courses should prepare students for real jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the overall plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words such as “On the other hand” and “Meanwhile” to show a change between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vocational training
  • internships
  • practical experience
  • employability
  • intellectual exploration
  • critical thinking
  • job preparation
  • well-rounded education
  • partnerships with industries
  • academic curriculum
  • real-world experiences
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