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Writing Samples
Band 8

There is a view that the widespread use of computers and mobile phones has contributed to a decline in reading and writing abilities among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that the widespread use of
computers
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 has weakened young
people
Use synonyms
's reading and writing skills. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because digital technology provides access to a wide range of reading materials and gives young
people
Use synonyms
 more opportunities to practise written communication.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
computers
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have greatly expanded young
people
Use synonyms
's access to reading materials.
Instead
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 of relying only on printed books and newspapers, students can now read e-books, online articles, academic journals and educational websites almost anywhere.
For example
Linking Words
, a university student can read an academic article on a mobile phone
while
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 travelling or waiting for a class.
This
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 makes reading more convenient and allows young
people
Use synonyms
 to encounter a wider range of vocabulary and ideas.
As a result
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, digital technology can strengthen reading habits rather than necessarily weaken them.
Body paragraph 2
Digital devices
also
Linking Words
 give young
people
Use synonyms
 more opportunities to practise writing. Students regularly write emails, assignments and online discussions,
while
Linking Words
 educational platforms can provide feedback from teachers.
For instance
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, a student may submit an assignment online, receive comments about unclear sentences or grammatical errors, and
then
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 revise the work.
This
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 repeated process can gradually improve writing ability. Admittedly, excessive use of abbreviations in informal messages may have a negative effect on formal writing.
However
Linking Words
, when
computers
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 and
phones
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 are used for academic work and meaningful communication, they can actually support literacy skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I completely disagree that
computers
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have generally caused a decline in young
people
Use synonyms
's reading and writing abilities. When used appropriately, these devices provide greater access to reading materials and create valuable opportunities for written practice and feedback.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, explain more why online reading and writing lead to better skills, not just more time spent reading and writing.
task response
The two main ideas are on topic and well explained. Add one more clear, real example of a young person using a phone or computer for study to make the support more full.
task response
You mention a possible bad side of short forms in messages. This is good. You could make your answer more fair by saying why this bad side is less important when school work is done in a formal way.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow: the first main part is about reading and the second is about writing. Keep this clear plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “However”, help the reader follow your ideas. Try not to use too many set links; sometimes use a short clear sentence instead.
coherence and cohesion
The last part clearly repeats your main view and both reasons. You could make it a little stronger by briefly restating how each reason answers the question.
task response
You answer the question fully and clearly say that you disagree. Your reasons about wider access to reading and more chances to write fit your view very well.
task response
The examples are clear and useful, especially the student reading while travelling and the student improving work after teacher comments.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, and the ideas move in a clear order from reading to writing.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are clear and match each other. The reader can easily see your main view.
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