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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the last century, the first man to walk on the moon said it was "a giant leap for mankind”. However, some people think it has made little difference to our daily lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Opinions are divided on whether the saying "a giant leap for mankind" of the first walking to the
moon
Use synonyms
 could make any difference to our daily lives. From my perspective, I totally agree with the positive side for the following reasons.
Body paragraph 1
The chief excuse for my stance is that
such
Linking Words
 a first step on the
moon
Use synonyms
 heralds humanity's power and motivates relentless effort to develop.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the past, when mankind was restricted by the earth itself, had no tools to reach the skies, and deemed planets and stars almost unfathomable, the journey to the
moon
Use synonyms
 broke our previous limits and showcased our strength in exploring and deciphering the unknown.
This
Linking Words
 effort
also
Linking Words
 requires rich, rare resources, a high budget, extensive training, creativity, and ultimately, humans' indomitable spirit for scientific thrive. The satisfying result emerging at the expense of these prices is indeed precious, a testament to meritocracy, where sacrifices can produce miracles
at the end
Linking Words
. Even after decades of that event, many, especially people working in astronomy, are still inspired and motivated to do tasks with challenges ahead, carrying a mindset of equivalent exchange - values are not created by nothing.
Body paragraph 2
Equally noticeable for my justification is that the first walk on the
moon
Use synonyms
 has set the foundation for new occupations and innovations.
This
Linking Words
 is illustrated clearly in sectors like aerospace, commercial space flights (SpaceX or Blue Origin companies), medical tech, and the advanced image processing profession. Meanwhile, to make the
moon
Use synonyms
 landing possible, NASA had to invent or drastically improve materials and systems. These breakthroughs transitioned into commercial products we rely on today. The Apollo Guidance Computer pioneered the use of unproven integrated circuits to save weight, which helped spur the microchip revolution, leading to modern laptops, smartphones, and digital devices. Another case is that multi-layer reflective mylar insulation sheets were engineered to protect astronauts from extreme radiation and heat.These sheets were later packaged into lightweight emergency kits, marathon running wraps, and commercial home insulation.
Such
Linking Words
 progress is undeniably impactful, changing our daily lives for the better convenience.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I fervently agree with the astronaut's highlight of the integral role of the travel to the
moon
Use synonyms
. With its inspiration and practical applications to daily lives, it truly deserves the title of "one giant leap for mankind".

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that the moon walk changed daily life. Keep this view, but make the link to daily life clearer in the first main part. Inspiration is important, but explain how it affects people outside space work, such as students, schools, or new science jobs.
task response
Your second main part is strong because it gives clear facts about chips and heat sheets. Make each example shorter, then state more directly how it helps people in daily life. For example, say that chips made phones and home computers possible.
task response
Some claims are too broad, such as the idea that the event proves that sacrifice can make miracles. Use more direct points about science, work, health, travel, or home products.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. The order is easy to follow. In each main part, start with one simple main idea, explain it, give one example, and link it back to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler links between ideas. Phrases such as "The chief excuse for my stance" and "Equally noticeable for my justification" sound unclear. Use "The main reason is" and "Another reason is" instead.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and hold too many ideas. Split them into two or three short sentences. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid words that do not fit the meaning, such as "meritocracy" and "equivalent exchange". They take the reader away from your main point. Use plain words that show cause and result.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start to the end.
task response
The examples about the Apollo computer and heat sheets are useful, clear, and closely linked to modern life.
coherence and cohesion
Your two main parts have different purposes: one is about inspiration and the other is about real new tools. This gives the essay a clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
The ending repeats your main view and brings the two main ideas together.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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