IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

2.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
All
colleges
Check wording
colleges'
show examples
 ongoing graduate student courses should include a
period
Use synonyms
 prof
time
Use synonyms
 they spend
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying foreign country or working in a placement.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to take a deep dive into its complexities and explore potential outcomes. In my opinion, it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more merits than demerits.
Body paragraph 1
To embark upon, by introducing a given
time
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to educate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students more precisely.
Along with
Linking Words
 that, it will
also
Linking Words
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 easy
accessible
Replace the word
access
 to the students.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
incerease
Correct your spelling
increase
 the admission and employment rates.
For instance
Linking Words
, an article
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
published by
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
show examples
 newspaper, ''THE HINDUSTAN TIMES'', shows that
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 limit by universities will attract 75% of
student
Check wording
students
show examples
 for enrolment and gain a
god
Use the right word
good
show examples
 amount of interest.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
children's
Check wording
children
show examples
 have not
able
Verb problem
been able
show examples
 to join
programme
Correct article usage
the programme
show examples
 because of the
time
Use synonyms
 factor. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some countries have different
Use synonyms
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of passing makes children worried regarding their admissions leds to low
working
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
placement
.
Check wording
rates.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, in JAPAN, the passing year
accounted
Verb problem
is accounted
show examples
 in
mid June
Correct your spelling
mid-June
, which
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 children worried regarding unable to
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 admission in a specific programme
Conclusion
To recapitulate, by inculding
period
Use synonyms
 will
shows
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 much more progressive Rates rather
that the
Correct word choice
than
show examples
  not introducing
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
a time
show examples
 limit.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the work placement rates.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph and keep the same view to the end. Explain why study abroad or work placement is good, and also explain the problems in more detail.
task response
Your main ideas do not fully answer the question. Talk about real points such as work skills, language skills, cost, family problems, and places not being open to all students.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. The newspaper example is not clear: say what the study found, why it matters, and how it shows the good side of the plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic in each body paragraph. Start with the good side, explain it, and give one example. Then start a new paragraph for the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: "First", "Also", "However", "For example", and "In the end". Do not use long opening phrases if they do not add meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Make your last paragraph match your view. Say clearly that the good points are stronger than the bad points, then give the main reason in one or two short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating "time period" and "time limit". These words change the meaning of the question. The question is about a period abroad or in a work placement, not a limit on time.
task response
You give your own view in the first paragraph: you think the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
You include both sides of the issue and try to use examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an opening, two body paragraphs, and an ending, so the basic shape is clear.
coherence and cohesion
You use some signpost words, such as "On the other hand", "For instance", and "To recapitulate".
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: