IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that international tourism has negative implications on their countries. What is the reason for it? What can be done to change the negative attitude towards international tourism?

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Introduction
It is
argeud
Correct your spelling
argued
 that many people believe that international
tourisim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 has negative
emplications
Correct your spelling
implications
 on their
countries
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of some international
tourists
Use synonyms
 that dont respect
others
Use synonyms
 ccultures ,especially when they are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
country places
Correct your spelling
countries
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there are many international
tourists
Use synonyms
 that do repect
others
Use synonyms
 place and act
by their
Change preposition
with good
show examples
 manners
whrever
Correct your spelling
wherever
they'll be
Verb problem
they go
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
Therefore
Linking Words
 , it is more common that internatiol tourisim have negative
implication
Check wording
implications
show examples
 because the bad
action
Use synonyms
 would
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 more than the good one , because people tend to be more protective
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their belongings in general , and any kind of act of
disrespect
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as throwing trash
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
instead
Linking Words
 of
the trash it
Correct word order
putting it in the trash,
show examples
 is a disrespectful act that will affect the citizens .
Body paragraph 2
Moereover there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some actions that
tourists
Use synonyms
 who
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from different cultures
deosn't
Correct your spelling
don't
 know about and
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 it
spontaneuosly
Correct your spelling
spontaneously
, without
meanting
Correct your spelling
meaning
 any harm .
For instance
Linking Words
 , in some
countries
Use synonyms
 in
resturents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and
coffeeshops
Correct your spelling
coffee shops
 it is normal not to remove ur leftover or your tray when
your
Use the right word
you're
show examples
 done ,
instead
Linking Words
 you wait
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the wateress clean the table . So
this
Linking Words
action
Use synonyms
 in some
countries
Use synonyms
 will be a
disrespect
Use synonyms
 for the locals
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 would think
this
Linking Words
 is a rude
action
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 3
Therefore
Linking Words
 , it is important to let the
tourists
Use synonyms
 know how the other
Use synonyms
countries system
Check wording
countries' systems
show examples
 work to avoid
this
Linking Words
 kind
anger
Change preposition
of anger
show examples
 their
action
Use synonyms
 will cause . Because people will not
disrespect
Use synonyms
 you unless you
disrespect
Use synonyms
 them first .
Although
Linking Words
 it is important to let the visitors
aware
Verb problem
be aware
show examples
 of the
Use synonyms
countries
Check wording
country's
show examples
 system and boundaries that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Use synonyms
 may respect , and it will be appreciated by the locals .
Conclusion
In conclusion , life is
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 on cooperation
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 separation . Tourism and meeting new cultures and exploring the
worlds
Check wording
world's
show examples
 cultures have to be in
certian baundarise
Correct your spelling
certain boundaries
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have to
show examples
 be aware of , and let it be an enjoyable thing
instead
Linking Words
 of
annoyable
Correct word choice
annoying
show examples
.

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task response
You answer both parts: you give reasons for the bad view and ways to change it. However, the ideas are not fully clear. Give two main reasons, such as bad behavior and harm to local places, then give two clear ways to help.
task response
Explain the link between each reason and the bad view more fully. For example, say that trash, noise, or rude acts can make local people feel that tourists do not care about their home.
task response
Your example about leaving trays in a café is useful and on topic. Make it clearer by saying that a small act can be polite in one country but rude in another.
task response
For the second question, give more real action. Tourist offices, hotels, and travel sites can share short rules on local ways, dress, trash, noise, and holy places before visitors arrive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Still, some paragraphs repeat the same idea about respect. Make each paragraph do one job: one reason in each body paragraph, then one paragraph for solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a more clear way. For example: 'First,' 'Also,' 'For example,' 'To solve this,' and 'In conclusion.' Do not begin too many paragraphs with 'Therefore,' because it makes the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences are hard to follow. Split them into short sentences. This will make your meaning easier to see.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same words for the same idea. Use 'international tourism,' 'tourists,' and 'local people' in a steady way, rather than changing the terms often.
task response
You stay on the main topic and give a clear cause: some tourists may not know or follow local ways.
task response
The café example helps show how different local ways can lead to anger even when no harm is meant.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs and include both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to the main idea that tourism should be enjoyable and based on respect.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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