In today’s world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In today’s world, many
people
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spend a large amount of
money
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on their appearance because they want to look younger.
This
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trend is mainly caused by social
pressure
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and the influence of media and celebrities. In my opinion,
this
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is largely a negative development because it can create financial
pressure
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and reduce
people
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’s self-confidence.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason for
this
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trend is social
pressure
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. Many
people
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feel that they need to look young and attractive in order to be accepted by others.
This
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is because social media and celebrities often show ideal images of beauty.
For example
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,
people
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may see famous actors or influencers who appear younger than their real age.
As a result
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, they may spend
money
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on cosmetics, skincare products or beauty treatments.
Body paragraph 2
I believe
this
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is a negative development for several reasons.
First,
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people
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may spend too much
money
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on products or treatments that they do not really need.
This
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can create financial
pressure
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, especially for those with a limited income.
In addition
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, focusing too much on appearance may reduce self-confidence.
For instance
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, some
people
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may feel unhappy with their natural appearance because they compare themselves with celebrities online.
Therefore
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,
this
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trend can have both financial and emotional effects.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
people
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often spend
money
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to look younger because of social
pressure
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and the influence of
media
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the media
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. In my view,
this
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is a negative development because it can lead to unnecessary spending and lower self-confidence.

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task response
Answer both parts clearly, as you do now. To make the view stronger, add one more reason why this is bad, such as health risks from some beauty work or the idea that age is normal.
task response
Give more full examples. For example, show how a person with little money may buy costly skin care after seeing ads online, then have less money for needs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, main parts, and end. Make links between ideas a little smoother by using words such as “also”, “because of this”, and “as a result” only when they show a real link.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, such as social media, famous people, and low self-belief. Add a new detail after each main point instead of saying the same idea again.
task response
You give clear reasons for the trend and state your own view from the start. Your main points stay on the question.
task response
The points about money problems and low self-belief are clear and fit your view well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main part has one clear idea, and the last part sums up your answer well.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well, such as “For example”, “As a result”, “First”, and “In addition”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural and social pressure
  • Youth and beauty glorification
  • Technological advancements
  • Anti-aging treatments
  • Skincare
  • Cosmetic procedures
  • Self-esteem and confidence
  • Self-improvement
  • Self-care
  • Unrealistic beauty standards
  • Superficiality
  • Financial strain
  • Consumption and dissatisfaction
  • Psychological effects
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Body dysmorphobia
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