IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
As urban populations continue to grow, housing is becoming increasingly compact, leaving many
neighborhood
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neighbourhoods
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 with little or no private outdoor area.
Although
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this
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 trend can help cities accommodate more population, I believe it is predominantly a negative development because of its potential effects on
folk's
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people's
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 physical and mental well-being. One major drawback of having little outdoor area is that people may have fewer opportunities to exercise, relax and spend time in natural surroundings.
This
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 can be particularly problematic for children and adults who live in densely populated urban
field
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areas
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 and have limited
door
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access
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 to gardens, balconies or other private spaces.
In addition
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, cramped living conditions may reduce privacy and make it more difficult for family members to relax comfortably. If
public
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the public
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also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 limited connection to nearby parks and recreational facilities, they may become less physically active and experience greater levels of stress.
Therefore
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, the loss of
outdoor
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the outdoor
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 zone can negatively affect both the quality of life and
overall
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 well-being of urban society.
Body paragraph 1
Nevertheless
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, compact housing can provide some important advantages. Using urban land efficiently allows cities to accommodate growing populations without expanding excessively into surrounding areas. Smaller homes may
also
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 be more affordable than spacious properties, particularly in expensive cities where land and rental prices are high.
For example
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, the construction of compact apartments can enable young professionals and lower-income families to live closer to employment opportunities
while
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 keeping their housing costs relatively manageable.
However
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, these benefits should not come at the expense of residents'
avenue
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access
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 to outdoor space.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 smaller homes can help address housing shortages and make accommodation more affordable, the lack of outdoor
field
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space
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 can have negative consequences for
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
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 physical and mental well-being. I
therefore
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 believe that urban development should combine efficient housing with
adequate
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an adequate
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 approach to balconies, gardens, parks and other recreational
field
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fields
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.

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task response
Make your view even more clear at the start: say that this is mainly a negative change, even though it has some good points.
task response
Give one more real or clear example of how no outdoor space can harm daily life, such as children having no safe place to play after school.
task response
Use more exact words for key ideas. Write “access to outdoor space” rather than “avenue to outdoor space.”
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan. To make links smoother, use simple link words such as “For this reason,” “As a result,” and “In contrast.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words through the essay. You use “outdoor area,” “outdoor zone,” and “outdoor field.” Choose one or two forms, such as “outdoor space” and “parks.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not clear because of word choice. For example, change “limited door to gardens” to “limited access to gardens,” and “urban field” to “urban areas.”
task response
You answer both sides of the question and clearly state that the change is mostly negative.
task response
Your points about health, stress, land use, and lower home costs are on topic and well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to follow: first the bad effects, then the good effects, and then a clear final view.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main point, and the example of small flats near jobs supports the second paragraph well.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • public transportation infrastructure
  • social interaction
  • community bonding
  • mental well-being
  • urban biodiversity
  • urban heat island effect
  • energy-efficient
  • affordable housing
  • cramped living conditions
  • innovative architecture
  • interior design
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • quality of life
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