Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Introduction
In recent years, there has been a considerable debate about the proportion of men and
women
in all the Use synonyms
programs
available at a Use synonyms
university
. Some people believe that universities should have a balanced percentage between men and Use synonyms
women
in all available Use synonyms
programs
. I disagree with that because the number of students accepted into a Use synonyms
university
should be based on the merit system and the needs of society.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
One primary reason is that conducting standard exam entries would be
more fair
for everyone. Everybody has the same chance to pursue their dreams without being restricted by their Replace the word
fairer
gender
. To be more precise, standard requirements for Use synonyms
university
entrance should be fulfilled by everyone who wants to go to the Use synonyms
university
, Use synonyms
such
as document requirements, minimum scores, language proficiency, or a general test. In my experience, Linking Words
for instance
, the merit systems applied by the universities in Indonesia offer equal opportunities for people from various backgrounds to study whatever Linking Words
programs
they want. Use synonyms
As a result
, people from different backgrounds Linking Words
has
the same opportunities to catch their dreams.Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Body paragraph 2
Another compelling argument is that some subjects require a certain
gender
. Some jobs need a specific ability that can only be provided by men or Use synonyms
women
, resulting in the universitiy to accommodate Use synonyms
this
demand by restricting some subjects for a particular Linking Words
gender
. Use synonyms
For instance
, many occupations Linking Words
such
as nursing require Linking Words
women
as their workforce, Use synonyms
this
condition brings about the proportion of students learning in Linking Words
this
program Linking Words
is
dominated by females. Wrong verb form
being
Consequently
, some particular Linking Words
programs
accept a specific Use synonyms
gender
to be able to fulfil work compatibility.Use synonyms
Conclusion
To
summarize
, accepting an equal number of male and female students in every subject is not beneficial for universities. I firmly believe that testing capability is the most effective way to provide equality for everyone. Change the spelling
summarise
Furthermore
, some jobs require a specific Linking Words
gender
to support their business processes.Use synonyms
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task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree with equal numbers in every subject. Keep this clear view in each main part.
task response
Explain more fully why a merit system is better. Show how it can give fair access while still letting men and women choose the subjects they want.
task response
Be careful with the idea that some jobs need only men or only women. This is too broad and may not be true. Nursing, for example, can be done well by both men and women. Use a more balanced point: some subjects may attract more people of one sex, so fixed equal numbers may stop good students from entering.
task response
Your Indonesia example is useful, but make the link to the question more direct. Say how equal entry rules can lead to fair choice without forcing equal numbers in every class.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and a final paragraph. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas more exact. For example, after saying that entry tests are fair, explain why this means universities should not use sex as a fixed rule.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. The second body paragraph moves from job needs to limits on entry, but the steps are not fully clear. Add a short reason between these ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and grammar in key links. Write “people from different backgrounds have the same opportunities”, not “has”. Also write “universities”, not “universitiy”.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You give two reasons for your view and include a real-life example from Indonesia.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph starts with a clear main point, which helps the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph clearly restates your main view and brings the essay to a close.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite