Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

5.5 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In recent years, there has been a considerable debate about the proportion of men and
women
Use synonyms
in all the
programs
Use synonyms
available at a
university
Use synonyms
. Some people believe that universities should have a balanced percentage between men and
women
Use synonyms
in all available
programs
Use synonyms
. I disagree with that because the number of students accepted into a
university
Use synonyms
should be based on the merit system and the needs of society.
Body paragraph 1
One primary reason is that conducting standard exam entries would be
more fair
Replace the word
fairer
for everyone. Everybody has the same chance to pursue their dreams without being restricted by their
gender
Use synonyms
. To be more precise, standard requirements for
university
Use synonyms
entrance should be fulfilled by everyone who wants to go to the
university
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as document requirements, minimum scores, language proficiency, or a general test. In my experience,
for instance
Linking Words
, the merit systems applied by the universities in Indonesia offer equal opportunities for people from various backgrounds to study whatever
programs
Use synonyms
they want.
As a result
Linking Words
, people from different backgrounds
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the same opportunities to catch their dreams.
Body paragraph 2
Another compelling argument is that some subjects require a certain
gender
Use synonyms
. Some jobs need a specific ability that can only be provided by men or
women
Use synonyms
, resulting in the universitiy to accommodate
this
Linking Words
demand by restricting some subjects for a particular
gender
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many occupations
such
Linking Words
as nursing require
women
Use synonyms
as their workforce,
this
Linking Words
condition brings about the proportion of students learning in
this
Linking Words
program
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
dominated by females.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some particular
programs
Use synonyms
accept a specific
gender
Use synonyms
to be able to fulfil work compatibility.
Conclusion
To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, accepting an equal number of male and female students in every subject is not beneficial for universities. I firmly believe that testing capability is the most effective way to provide equality for everyone.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some jobs require a specific
gender
Use synonyms
to support their business processes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree with equal numbers in every subject. Keep this clear view in each main part.
task response
Explain more fully why a merit system is better. Show how it can give fair access while still letting men and women choose the subjects they want.
task response
Be careful with the idea that some jobs need only men or only women. This is too broad and may not be true. Nursing, for example, can be done well by both men and women. Use a more balanced point: some subjects may attract more people of one sex, so fixed equal numbers may stop good students from entering.
task response
Your Indonesia example is useful, but make the link to the question more direct. Say how equal entry rules can lead to fair choice without forcing equal numbers in every class.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and a final paragraph. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas more exact. For example, after saying that entry tests are fair, explain why this means universities should not use sex as a fixed rule.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body paragraph. The second body paragraph moves from job needs to limits on entry, but the steps are not fully clear. Add a short reason between these ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check word choice and grammar in key links. Write “people from different backgrounds have the same opportunities”, not “has”. Also write “universities”, not “universitiy”.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
You give two reasons for your view and include a real-life example from Indonesia.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph starts with a clear main point, which helps the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph clearly restates your main view and brings the essay to a close.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: