IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that multinational companies have a negative effect on the local economy and environment of a developing country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some
population
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populations
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 argue that international
group
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groups
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 negatively impact the local economy and ecology of developing nations. I partly agree about their negative influence towards the environment since they often pollute nature to maximise production.
Nevertheless
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, they contribute to an economic boost by providing jobs for local folk and paying taxes to the government.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, multinational aggregation might negatively affect the environment. Aiming to maximise their output, large
association
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associations
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 ignore environmental restrictions, resulting in severe damage to the local ecosystem.
For example
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, Nestle(one of the main baby food suppliers) , in order to make their product affordable and make its production cheaper, pollutes the countries with plastic waste and different emissions.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
, multinational
party
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parties
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 might create barriers for small businesses to enter as entrepreneurships simply can't cope with the pressure from big companies.
That is
Linking Words
 because large corporations try to avoid competition and might eliminate the local competitors, making it harder for them to make a profit.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
international
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an international
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 assembly could boost the local economy. As large corporations control the production, they need employees to hire.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they find the local labour (community) and give them a salary, which in turn is likely to reduce the unemployment level in the country.
For instance
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, when multinational corporations
such
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 as tech giants open their branches in developing nations like India or the Philippines , not only do they provide thousands of jobs, but they
also
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 invest in training the local workforce.
In addition
Linking Words
Body paragraph 3
LINKING WORDS
Body paragraph 4
Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
Body paragraph 5
, depending on their output,
such
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band
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bands
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 are obligated to pay certain tax indices.
Therefore
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, large
club
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clubs
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 contribute to the development of the country.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 multinational
association
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associations
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 might have a negative outcome to ecosystem and threaten small enterprises, I believe they boost the local economy and provide workplaces for society there.

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task response
Give a clear opinion in the first paragraph and keep the same view to the end. You partly agree, but the essay needs a more exact line: companies can harm nature and small firms, while they can help jobs and tax income.
task response
The essay is not fully complete because the second main paragraph ends with an unfinished sentence: “In addition”. Remove this and finish the idea with a full example or explanation.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how tax money can help local people, for example through schools, roads, or health care. Also explain why local firms may lose customers when a big company enters the market.
task response
Use examples with care. The Nestle example is too general and has no clear place, time, or result. A more direct example, or a general example with clear cause and result, would be stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your overall plan is clear: introduction, harm, benefits, and conclusion. However, each body paragraph should focus on one main idea. The first body paragraph mixes harm to nature with harm to small firms. Put these in separate paragraphs, or clearly show that both are parts of one point.
coherence and cohesion
Do not copy non-essay text into the middle of the writing. The section about linking words breaks the flow and should be removed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words only when they fit the idea. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” work well here. Add clear links inside paragraphs, such as “As a result”, “For this reason”, and “This means that”.
coherence and cohesion
Choose the same simple words for the main subject. Use “multinational companies” or “large companies” throughout. Do not change it to “group”, “aggregation”, “party”, “assembly”, “club”, or “band”, because these words make the meaning unclear.
task response
You answer both sides of the question: harm to the environment and help for the economy.
task response
You give a clear reason for economic benefits: large companies can create jobs and pay tax.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion both show your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses a clear paragraph plan and some useful links, such as “For example”, “Consequently”, and “Therefore”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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