Some people think that having a high salary is the most important part of a good job. Do you agree or disagree?

6.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Nowadays, a new issue has arisen in our society: some people think that having a high

salary

Use synonyms

is the most important part of a good job. I agree because a high

salary

Use synonyms

helps us meet our needs for entertainment and household expenses.

In addition

Linking Words

, we should be smart, organised, and motivated to get a high

salary

Use synonyms

in a big company.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

Linking Words

with, I agree that a high

salary

Use synonyms

gives us an extra boost to reduce stress.

This

Linking Words

is because we can save, buy what we need, and meet our own needs. More specifically, if you have a high

salary

Use synonyms

, you can go to malls and supermarkets and travel.

However

Linking Words

, you still have to meet job duties and complete everything by the deadline, especially at a big company.

For example

Linking Words

last

Linking Words

summer, I did my office work early to get a bonus and a promotion, and that helped me travel to Turkey to enjoy the views, like landscapes, waterfalls, and gardens, and to have new food experiences, and I spent around 5000 dollars.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a high

salary

Use synonyms

covers around 75% of entertainment needs.

Body paragraph 2

Another important point is that I agree it meets our household needs.

In other words

Linking Words

, it covers expenses like food, repairs, occasions, clothes, and children's needs.

In addition

Linking Words

, you should be cooperative to succeed in a big company.

For instance

Linking Words

last

Linking Words

week I went to Cario Mall to buy a pair of shoes to look fit and smart, but without a high

Use synonyms

salary

Add a comma

salary,

show examples

I couldn’t buy brand-new shoes because they cost around 500 dollars.

As a result

Linking Words

, a high

salary

Use synonyms

covers roughly 40% of my family's monthly needs.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both views show people's major needs in different aspects of life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that every family should get around 10,000 dollars for life’s monthly expenses

saifalbakry2

Oct 1, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Your main view is clear: you agree that high pay is very important. However, the question asks if it is the most important part of a good job. Explain why pay is more important than other parts, such as good work hours, a kind boss, job safety, or work you enjoy.

task response

Keep each main point closely tied to the question. The parts about being smart, organised, motivated, and cooperative do not show why high pay makes a job good. Use this space to explain the good things that money can give workers and families.

task response

Your own examples are clear, but some details are not needed. The long list of places and things in Turkey does not add much. Give a shorter example, then explain how it proves your point.

task response

Do not use figures such as 75%, 40%, or 10,000 dollars unless you can clearly show where they come from. They seem random and make your ideas less strong. Focus on clear reasons instead.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. To make the flow better, begin each body part with a direct main idea, then give one reason, one example, and a short link back to the question.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences have too many ideas joined together. For example, the sentence about travel, views, food, and money is very long. Split long sentences into two or three short sentences so the reader can follow your meaning.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. You use words like 'For example', 'However', and 'Therefore', but 'However' does not fit well in the first body part. Choose links that show the real relation between ideas, such as 'Also', 'As a result', or 'For this reason'.

coherence and cohesion

The end does not fully match your view. It talks about both views and says every family should get a set amount of money. Instead, restate that high pay is the most important part of a good job and briefly repeat your two reasons.

task response

You answer the question directly and make your view clear in the first part.

task response

You give two real-life reasons for your view: money can help with fun and with family needs.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to see as a full piece of writing, with an opening, two main body parts, and an ending.

coherence and cohesion

You use some useful signpost words, such as 'To begin with', 'For example', and 'In conclusion', to guide the reader.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In order to improve safety in roads, the only way is said to be to implement more intense abuse for those people offending driving regulations. The author strongly disagrees with this statement, indicating inefficiency, educational advocacy and public support as strong evidence.
7
band
You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking •ask about booking a different course Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
Good morning, I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to let you know that I am going to cancel my part-time course that I have booked prior today. I have booked the Accounting part-time course, which will be held every Monday from 3 PM to 5 PM. Unfortunately, I couldn’t attend the course due to the part-time course being crashed with my main schedule. Regarding that, I have to prioritize my main college schedule utmost. After some consideration, I am going to book another course and plan to take finance as the substitute course. From what I have seen, finance is the only course that match into my personal and college schedule, as well as finance will be complimented my major courses. I wonder if it is possible to change it? Please let me know, if there is anything I could do to change.
6.5
band
Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
there is a debate that The debate over whether professional athletes make good role models for young people is a complex and nuanced one, with valid arguments on both sides.
7
band
Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In this modern era,most people experience stressful life patterns and limited free time. It is argued that the government should promote recreational activities for their citizens.I completely agree with that statement firstly ,it develops a healthy workforce and secondly, can be recognized as talented.
7.5
band
Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.
A group of individuals present the view that one can be robbed anywhere, either on the streets or in their homes, whereas others believe that staying at home would be the safest way of not being robbed. I strongly agree with the former opinion.

Some people think that having a high salary is the most important part of a good job. Do you agree or disagree?

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.