IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people say that we have developed into a "throw-away" culture, because we are filling up our environment with many plastic bags and with rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what degree do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend to reduce this problem?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the air quality of the envrionment significantly declined over the years
, the socity widespread
Punctuation problem
. Society has widely adopted
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 the culture of throwing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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plastic and various non-biodegradable waste , which has led to a culture called a throw-away and it's developes for
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 generation. I completely agree with
this
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 view, and I believe the community and government can implement several measures to tackle
this
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 issue.
Body paragraph 1
On the brighter side, the pollution and the air quality significantly decrease throughout the cultural experiences , because recently the society
noticed
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has noticed
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 that the non-biodegradable materials
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such
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, such
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 as plastic bags or cups , are harmful to the environment, so they came up with the concept of " throw away which is completely created by the community to be saved .
In addition
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, the Health Organisation Centre has strict rules that must
to
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apply
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be followed by the individual involved
throw
Use the right word
through
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 the trash in the oceans
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also
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, also
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 for
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 unrecyclable materials
and
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, and
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 orgnaization adds
pelenty
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penalties
 for
anyone's
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anyone who
 strikes the order.
Body paragraph 2
On the darker side,
past
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over the past
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 few decades
the
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, the
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 atmosphere extremley sensitive
due to
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 global warming and the jungle fires in summer sesons neither the wildlife under threat would
totally
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be totally
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 gone by the time , if we don't take care of the earth.
However
Linking Words
, approaching the clean wind air and less pollution quit simple if
the
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apply
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society were cooperative and
a
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apply
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spread multiple advertisements through
the
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apply
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online platforms ,social media.
Conclusion
In conclusion, keeping the earth fully green is essential, so
i
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I
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 agree we are part of the soultion not
necessary
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just
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 for us,
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also
Correct word choice
but also
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 for our next generation to be raised safely.

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task response
State your view clearly, then give two clear ways to cut waste. Keep each body part on one main idea. For example, write about a tax on plastic bags in one part and better recycling in the next.
task response
Answer both parts of the question in full. Explain why you agree that people throw away too much, and explain how each plan would help.
task response
Use real, simple examples. You could say that shops can charge for plastic bags, so more people bring a bag from home. You could also say that more bins and clear signs help people sort waste.
coherence and cohesion
Your first body part is hard to follow because some ideas do not match. The words “On the brighter side” do not fit a part about pollution. Start with a clear topic sentence and then explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple order: introduction, why this is a problem, what the government can do, what people and shops can do, conclusion. This will make your answer easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with clear words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “Finally”. Do not put many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check that key words are used in the right way. The phrase “throw-away culture” means people often use things once and then throw them away; it is not a plan made to save the environment.
task response
You give a clear view in the introduction: you agree with the idea, and you name both the community and the government as part of the answer.
task response
You include useful plans, such as rules for waste, fines, and online ads to help people change their habits.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can see the basic shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as “In addition”, “However”, and “In conclusion” to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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