IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live near a public school. The school asked local residents to help maintain the school building and playground. Write a letter to the principal. In your letter: o Explain why you would like to help o Tell them how you can help o Let them know when you are available

5.0 / 9
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Dear School Principal, Let me present myself, my name is Jimena García
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I am writing
you
Change preposition
to you
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 because of the notice you
let
Verb problem
left
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 in the
neighbour
Replace the word
neighbourhood
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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help to maintain the school
surrounds
Check wording
grounds
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. I really like your initiative to look for our help
into
Change preposition
with
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this
Linking Words
 important task, because I remember from my youth that parents and neighbours used to participate in the renovation and maintenance activities with children, and those social moments
let
Verb problem
left
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such
Linking Words
 good memories of my childhood. As a professional painter, I can offer to bring painting supplies so that we can
enlighten
Verb problem
beautify
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 the building and classrooms for the
children
Check wording
children's
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 new school year.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I can buy some brushes and plastic protectors so that floors
an
Correct word choice
and
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 other furnishings do not get painted by mistake. I have a little bit of work
this
Linking Words
 week, but I may be available the next 3 weekends since Friday, so if you agree, I can bring the supplies and help those days
full time
Correct your spelling
full-time
. Hope to receive your answer soon. Best Regards, Jimena García.

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task response
Answer each point more clearly. Say why you want to help, what work you can do, and the exact days and times you are free.
task response
Use more direct wording. For example, say that you can paint the walls, bring brushes, and cover the floors.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Make the time paragraph easier to follow: say “I am free on the next three weekends, from Friday to Sunday.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Put all painting details in one paragraph and all time details in the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words such as “also”, “because”, “therefore”, and “if” to join ideas.
task response
You give a clear reason for helping: you have good memories of people helping at school.
task response
You explain useful help you can give as a painter and say that you can bring supplies.
coherence and cohesion
The letter uses a polite greeting and closing, and the paragraphs are in a sensible order.
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