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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Fewer and fewer people nowadays use hand like pen, pencil and brush. What are the reasons?It is positive or negative development.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
In the modern digital era, the practice of writing or creating art by
hand
Use synonyms
 using traditional tools
such
Linking Words
 as pens, pencils, and brushes has become increasingly rare.
This
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 shift is primarily driven by the rapid advancement of technology, and in my view, it represents a development with both advantages and drawbacks
Body paragraph 1
On the one
hand
Use synonyms
,the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
this
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 event
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 quite big.Starting with the most benefit that can be seen,the materials
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 to create
hand
Use synonyms
 writes are decreased for sure,since the demand
of it
Fix the agreement mistake
for them
show examples
 dropped,the factory might decrease the production of
Use synonyms
hand traditional
Correct word order
traditional hand
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 tools as well.
This
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 leads to trees that
supposed
Verb problem
are supposed
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 to be chopped for the pencil
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 less,same as pens and brushes,these
made
Verb problem
are made
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by
Change preposition
of
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 plastic,so if we use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
Body paragraph 2
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
,there are
also
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 some huge negative aspects
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 debate.First
thing
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things
show examples
 first,people(especially artists)
maybe
Verb problem
may
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 one day
won't
Correct your spelling
not
 be able to find the original stationery easily like right now,because humans love convenient things
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the tools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 quite messy:
brush
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brushes
show examples
 might get
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 messy if
the user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 don't use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
 carefully.For that reason,I projected that the things we used to always use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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as a child that bring us imagination will be gone one day.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,the technologies impact us in different ways ,but they should not
be replaced
Wrong verb form
replace
show examples
 anything
also
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.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Give clear reasons why people use phones, tablets, and computers instead of pens, pencils, and brushes. Then clearly say if this change is mainly good or mainly bad.
task response
Make your main view clear in the first paragraph. You say there are good and bad sides, but the ending does not clearly choose which side is stronger.
task response
Explain each point with a full example. For example, digital notes can be made, changed, and sent very fast. Digital art can be shared with people all over the world.
task response
Develop the tree and plastic point. Explain how using fewer paper tools may cut waste, but also note that phones and computers use power and can make waste too.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph on reasons, one paragraph on good and bad effects, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Your first body paragraph starts with the good side, but the last sentence stops before the idea is finished.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. Put a space after commas and full stops.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Write shorter sentences so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion match your view. Instead of saying technology should not replace anything, state clearly what should still be kept, such as hand writing and art at school.
task response
You address both the reasons for the change and its possible good and bad effects.
task response
Your point about less use of trees and plastic shows that you tried to give a real effect of this change.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear opening, body paragraphs with different sides, and a closing paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital devices
  • write by hand
  • daily tasks
  • save time
  • send messages
  • online systems
  • work and study
  • basic skill
  • brain growth
  • memory skills
  • personal expression
  • real-life tasks
  • faster and easier
  • change text
  • reduce paper use
  • negative development
  • positive side
  • lose a skill
  • take notes
  • face-to-face life
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