IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

"People have different views about public transport. Some people think it should be free for everyone, while others think people should pay for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about public
transport
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think it should be free for everyone. Others think
people
Use synonyms
 should pay for it. In my opinion, public
transport
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 should be free, because it helps
people
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 who do not have much
money
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.
Body paragraph 1
People
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 who support paying have one good reason
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
buses
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 and trains need
money
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. A bus
company
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 must pay for fuel, drivers and new
buses
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if nobody pays for
tickets
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, the
company
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 cannot fix old
buses
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.
This
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 means the
buses
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 may break down, which makes the trips late. Because of
this
Linking Words
, passengers wait a long time at the bus stop. So paying for
tickets
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 helps the
company
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 keep the service good.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, I believe that free public
transport
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 is better, because it helps
people
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 with low
income
Check wording
incomes
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a worker who earns little
money
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 must pay fifty dollars every month for
tickets
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.
This
Linking Words
 is a lot of
money
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 for him. With free
buses
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, he can spend
this
Linking Words
money
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 on food and rent. Because of
this
Linking Words
, his family lives more comfortably, which makes him feel less stressed. He can
also
Linking Words
 go to work every day, even when
money
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 is short.
As a result
Linking Words
, more
people
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 can find jobs and keep them. The government can pay for the
buses
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 with taxes, so the
company
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 still gets
money
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.
This
Linking Words
 is why public
transport
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 should be free.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
tickets
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 give
money
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 to the
company
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, and
this
Linking Words
 helps keep the
buses
Use synonyms
 good.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that public
transport
Use synonyms
 should be free, because it helps
people
Use synonyms
 with low
income
Check wording
incomes
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is why the government should pay for it.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your work stronger, add more about why some people think free travel may be hard for the state. For example, say that tax money may be needed for schools or health care too.
task response
Your main view is clear: free travel helps people with low pay. Add one more clear point, such as fewer cars on the road, less air harm, or easier travel for old people and students.
task response
Your examples are easy to understand, but they are very general. Give one more real-life detail, such as how free travel can help a parent take a child to school or a worker go to job talks.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are used many times, such as “Because of this” and “This is why.” Use a wider mix, for example “Also,” “In this way,” “On the other hand,” and “For this reason.”
coherence and cohesion
The last part repeats your main ideas very closely. Make the end shorter and bring the two sides together before you state your final view.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain the view that people should pay, the view that travel should be free, and your own view.
task response
The point about people with low pay is clear and well linked to food, rent, work, and less stress.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part begins with a clear idea, and the next sentences explain it in a natural order.
coherence and cohesion
The use of simple links, such as “For example,” “However,” and “As a result,” helps the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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