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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
Nowadays,
technology
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 takes a significant role in our lives by facilitating what we require easily in all
life aspects
Correct word order
aspects of life
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. Learning is one of the most common subjects that are related to artificial intelligence
which
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, which
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 I strongly belive that it moved it to a better level.
Body paragraph 1
Traditional
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The traditional
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 way of learning
which
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, which
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 requires the physical presence of a
person
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person,
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 is not recommended recently, the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is
because the
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that
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 artificial intelligence assistance
allocated
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has allocated
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 all
information
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the information
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 we
primarly
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primarily
 need in just one place
which
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, which
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 saves time & effort.
For instance
Linking Words
, I just received my educational certificate in Human Resources Management by attending my lectures online &
technology
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 helped me with organizing & submitting my assignments without the necessity of
traveling
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travelling
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 to the United Kingdom to attend the whole course physically.
Body paragraph 2
The AI has both
a
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apply
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positive & negative
development
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developments
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 in my opinion
that
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, which
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 I will
summarize
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summarise
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 in
this
Linking Words
 paragraph. The positive development of using
a
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apply
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technology
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 in learning can be taughting individuals by multiple learning resources rather than one
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as online books.
Moreover
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, it facilitates the communication process between students & professors at any time. Negative development will be that people are getting used
that
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to the idea that
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 AI do everything rather than relying on themselves,
this
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 will result in less analytical skills & brain disorders
which
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, which
show examples
 harmfully affect the community & the way people interact with each other.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that Artificial intelligence &
technology
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 are useful, but we should know how to use them in a better way that benefits the nations & the next generation.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. Say clearly how AI can make learning better, then say clearly if this change is mainly good or bad.
task response
Your main ideas are useful, such as saving time, more learning tools, and easy contact with teachers. Explain each idea more fully: how does it help students learn better?
task response
The online course example is clear and personal. Add one more short example for the bad side, such as a student using AI to do all homework and then not learning the work.
task response
Be careful with very strong claims like 'brain disorders'. This idea is not explained or shown. Use a simpler, safer point: too much AI may make some students think less for themselves.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction, one paragraph on how AI helps learning, one paragraph on why this is mostly positive but has risks, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. For example: 'AI can improve learning by giving students fast and personal help.' Then explain and give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and hard to follow. Break them into shorter sentences. This will make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Try 'First', 'For example', 'However', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. Do not use '&'; write 'and' instead.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph match your opinion more closely. You say AI has good and bad sides, but the conclusion should clearly state whether you think it is mainly a positive or negative change.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of AI in education.
task response
Your example of getting a course certificate online is relevant and helps show your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful links between ideas, such as 'For instance', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative platforms
  • customized learning
  • adaptability
  • efficiency
  • lifelong learning
  • automation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • educational resources
  • remote accessibility
  • critical thinking
  • emotional development
  • over-reliance
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