Some people believe that schools should focus mainly on academic subjects, while others believe that students should be taught practical skills that will help them in their future careers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
While
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many individuals believe that
schools
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should focus mainly on academic
subjects
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, others think that
students
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should spend more time learning practical
skills
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for their
future
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careers. From my perspective,
schools
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should give more attention to practical
skills
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because they can help
students
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prepare for their
future
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working lives.
Body paragraph 1
One reason why some people think that
schools
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should focus mainly on academic
subjects
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is that
this
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can help
students
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achieve better grades and prepare them for higher education.
This
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is mainly because if
students
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spend more time studying
subjects
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such
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as mathematics and science, they are likely to gain a better understanding of important academic concepts.
As a result
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, they may have a better chance of getting into university and finding suitable career opportunities in the
future
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.
For instance
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, if
students
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regularly study their academic
subjects
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and complete their homework, they may achieve higher grades, which can help them enter universities and pursue successful careers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others believe that
schools
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should teach
students
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practical
skills
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because these
skills
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can be useful in their
future
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jobs and daily lives.
This
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is mainly because
students
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may not learn how to deal with real-life situations by studying academic
subjects
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alone.
As a result
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, learning practical
skills
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at school can help young people become more prepared for the responsibilities they may face after graduation.
For example
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, if
schools
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teach
students
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how to manage money, communicate effectively and solve common problems, they may become more confident when they enter the workplace.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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academic
subjects
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can help
students
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achieve good grades and prepare for higher education, I believe that practical
skills
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are more important because they can prepare young people for their
future
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careers and everyday responsibilities.

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task response
You answer both views and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more why practical skills should have more time than school subjects, not only why they are useful.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but they are a little general. Add one more clear detail about how a skill, such as money use or team work, helps in a real job.
task response
Your examples fit your ideas, but the first example repeats the point about good grades. Use a more real example, such as a student who needs strong maths and science to study medicine or engineering.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first view, second view, then your view. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “As a result”, “For instance”, and “On the other hand”, help the reader follow your ideas. Try not to use the same link pattern in every paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea and an example. You can make the link to your main view clearer at the end of the second body paragraph by saying why these skills may matter more than grades alone.
task response
You discuss both sides of the question and clearly state that practical skills should get more attention.
task response
The ideas about higher study, work, money use, and speaking well are all relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction gives a clear view, and the ending brings both views together.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well planned, with a main point, an explanation, and an example in each one.
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