In some countries owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why this might be the case? Do you think this is a positve or a negative situation?

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Introduction
One of the most debated issues in recent years is whether
people
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need to own their own
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house
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houses
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in some societies.
This
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is mainly because home ownership can provide financial security and a sense of belonging in a community.
While
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some
people
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believe that
owing
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owning
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a
house
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can have
positive
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a positive
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impact on
individuals
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in terms of accumulating wealth and long-term stability, I am of the opinion that
such
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a trend can be detrimental for
people
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as placing excessive importance on
property
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can
creates
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create
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financial pressure on citizens.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main reasons
people
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prefer to own their
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house
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own house
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is
a
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the
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sense of financial security that
property
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can provide.
While
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tenants should pay for their rent every
fornight
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fortnight
or month, houseowners gradually build an asset that they can invest or retain in the future.
This
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can be beneficial after retirement, when
individuals
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may have a lower income but still need to secure accommodation. Beyond that,
owing
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owning
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a
house
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can provide a sense of belonging and stability, as
people
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owning their own accommodation do not need to move
for searching
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to search for
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rental places and build wealth over time as they gradually pay off their mortgage.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these advantages, I believe that excessive emphasis on housing ownership can have negative consequences. In some countries, purchasing
property
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can be regarded as a successful life, which can lead to social pressure that
people
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should buy their own
property
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even though some
individuals
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are
unafforable
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unaffordable
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.
This
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situation can create depression and
self-conscious
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self-consciousness
by keeping conparing with others who own a
house
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.
Moreover
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, the trend may widen the socioeconomic inequality.
This
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is mainly because wealthy families can be
afforable
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more affordable
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to purchase and pay off their mortgage easily
but
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, but
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those from disadvantaged
backgroudns
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backgrounds
might struggle to even find suitable accommodation for
them
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themselves
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due to
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their financial situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is important
to own a home for
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for people to own a home
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people
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to build wealth over time,
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however
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apply
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overemphasis
owning
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on owning
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a
house
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can make disadvantaged families and low-income
individuals
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feel
under pressure
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pressured
and depressed, creating financial burden and
deepen
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deepening
show examples
inequality between different socioeconomic groups.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. Say clearly why home ownership is important, then clearly say why you think it is mostly negative. Your view is clear, but the first body paragraph gives many good points for owning a home, so the final view feels less strong.
task response
Add one clear, real-world example. For example, explain how a young family may take a very large loan to buy a home and then have less money for food, school, or health care. This will make your ideas more full and easy to believe.
task response
Develop the second main point more. Explain step by step how high home prices can make the gap between rich and poor larger. The idea is good, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, reasons, negative effects, conclusion. Your essay mostly follows this plan well. Make the link between the first and second body paragraphs clearer by starting the second one with a sentence such as: 'However, these benefits can come at a high cost.'
coherence and cohesion
Keep each sentence focused on one idea. Some sentences are long and join too many points, which makes them hard to follow. Split them into two shorter sentences where needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'Moreover', 'However', and 'This is because' are useful, but make sure the next sentence directly explains the point before it.
coherence and cohesion
Check key word forms and spelling because they can make the flow less clear: use 'owning', not 'owing'; 'homeowners', not 'houseowners'; 'affordable', not 'unafforable'; and 'backgrounds', not 'backgroudns'.
task response
You answer both questions: you explain why people want to own a home and you give a clear view that too much focus on this can be harmful.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: safety in old age, a sense of belonging, money pressure, and the gap between rich and poor.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes the overall shape easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as 'One of the main reasons', 'Despite these advantages', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • home ownership
  • rental accommodation
  • a sense of security
  • financial stability
  • a permanent place to live
  • rising rental costs
  • a sign of success
  • cultural expectation
  • long-term investment
  • property value
  • build wealth
  • housing market
  • take out a mortgage
  • monthly repayments
  • financial pressure
  • affordable housing
  • settle down
  • stable community
  • personal freedom
  • renting is a practical option
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