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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the increasing use of technology in the workplace is beneficial for employees, while others believe that it has a negative impact on workers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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While
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 many individuals believe that youngsters should spend more
time
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 doing
homework
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, others think that they should take more free
time
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 playing and enjoying
activities
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 outside
school
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. From my perspective,
i
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I
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 believe that
children
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 should gain experiences trying new subjects and taking up more hobbies because that may help them to unwind after
school
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. One major reason why communities believe that
children
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 should spend more
time
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 doing assignments and
homework
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 is that it leads to excellent grades at
school
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.
This
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 is mainly because if youngsters put an effort
in
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into
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 their studies and spend a lot of
time
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 doing
homework
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, they will be capable of mastering the curriculum and subject
and
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, and
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 they may not find it so hard to follow.
For instance
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, if a group of
children
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 decide that they should have the proclivity to do their
homework
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 and accomplish assignments, they may graduate from primary
school
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 with the highest scores because of their consistency in finishing
homework
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.
Consequently
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,
children
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 who are capable of managing their daily
homework
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 may have better chances when it comes to graduating with the best grades.
On the other hand
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, a significant number of people argue that
children
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 should spend more free
time
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 playing and participating in outdoor
activities
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.
This
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 is chiefly because if youngsters have the opportunity to engage in recreational
activities
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, they will be capable of relieving the pressure and stress of
school
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 life.
For example
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, if kids spend hours playing sports or exploring new hobbies with friends, they may develop essential social skills and stay physically active.
Consequently
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,
children
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 who balance their studying with enough playing
time
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 may have better mental health and a more enjoyable childhood. In conclusion,
while
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 some individuals believe that focusing heavily on
homework
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 and academic assignments is essential for getting the best grades, others think that
children
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 need more free
time
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 for playing outside. From my perspective,
i
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I
show examples
 believe that allowing
children
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 to explore new hobbies and unwind through outdoor
activities
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 is crucial for their
overall
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 development alongside their studies.

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task response
Your essay does not answer the given topic about technology at work. It answers a different topic about homework and free time for children. Always check the question words and key ideas before you write.
task response
For this topic, discuss how technology can help workers and how it can harm them. Then give your own clear view. You could write about faster work, flexible jobs, job loss, stress, or less face-to-face talk.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some examples are too general. Give a real and direct example that clearly shows why your point is true.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear plan: an opening, one paragraph for each view, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but do not repeat “For instance” and “Consequently” in the same way in both body parts. Use simple links such as “Also”, “However”, and “As a result” when needed.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences repeat the same idea about good grades. Make each sentence add a new point, such as better study habits, more knowledge, or more time to ask for help.
task response
You give both sides of the children and homework topic, and your own view is clear in the opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow. Each body part starts with a clear main point and then gives a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending sums up both views and restates your own view clearly.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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