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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
NOWADAYS,
SCIEENTIST
Fix the agreement mistake
SCIENTISTS
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 ARE APPRECIATED FOR THE
COMDABLE
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COMPELLING
 WORK
AS
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apply
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THEY
DONE
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DO
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 FOR
COUNTRY
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THE COUNTRY
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Linking Words
ALONG
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, ALONG
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 WITH DEVELOPING TECHNOLOGY. BUT,
DUE TO
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THIS
Linking Words
MUSCIANS
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, MUSICIANS
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 AND
ARTIST
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ARTISTS
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 ARE LESS RESPECTED BY THE SOCITEY AND
THIS
Linking Words
 HAS GATHERED A SIGNIFICANT ATTENTION AND SPARKED WIDESPREAD.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
, IT IS CRUCIAL TO TAKE
DIP
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A
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 DEEP
INTO
Verb problem
DIVE INTO
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 ITS COMPLEXITIES AND EXPLORE POTENTIAL OUTCOMES.
AS
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I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT AS
PEOPLE
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 THINK IT WILL HELP THEM IN BETTER DEVELOPED NATIONS.
Body paragraph 1
TO
EMABRK
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EMBARK
 UPON, SEVERAL DISCOVERIES
WAS
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WERE
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 MADE BY SCIENTISTS , WHICH
IS
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ARE
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 USED RECENTLY TO CALCULATE THE
POSSBILE
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POSSIBLE
 OUTCOME.
ALSO
Linking Words
, NEW ADVANCEMENT SHOULD BE DONE WITH THE HELP OF THESE
RESEARCHES
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RESEARCHERS
.
FOR INSTANCE
Linking Words
,
PEOPLE
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 GET TO KNOW ABOUT MINERALS,
PALNT
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PLANT
 SPECIES , HISTORIES AND
SOLAY
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SOLAR
 SYSTEM
BEACUSE
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BECAUSE
 OF THE SCIENTIST.
Body paragraph 2
MOREOVER
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, THESE KIND OF SEARCH WAS VALUED AND APPRRECIATED BY SOCIETY.
WHEREAS
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, SIGNERS AND ACTORS ARE TAKEN AS A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT.
IN ADDITION
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, FEWER
PEOPLE
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 WANTS TO BECOME LIKE THEM AND MOST
PEOPLE
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 MOTIVATE BY THE SCITENIST BEACUSE
PEOPLE
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 THOUGHT SCIENTIST HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE AND VALUES OVER THEM. TO EPITOME, ARTICLES
WAS
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WERE
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 PRINTED ON THE
RESEARCH
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apply
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LIFE OF THE RESEARCHERS
BUT
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, BUT
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 THERE IS NOTHING TO BE PRINTED ABOUT
MUSICIANS
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THE
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 HISTORY
.
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OF MUSICIANS.
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Conclusion
TO
RECAPITUALTE
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RECAPITULIZE
,
SOCITEY
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SOCIETY
 WANTS ENTERTAINMENT AND
KNOWLDEGE
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KNOWLEDGE
 AT THE TIME. BUT, THEY RESPECTED MORE WHO HAVE
MU=ORE
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MORE
 FAME OR INFLUENCE RATHER THAN SINGERS AND MUSICIANS.

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task response
State your view in one clear sentence at the start. Then explain why science and technology work may be more valued. Say how far you agree, not only that you agree.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and a real example. For example, explain how doctors, phones, or clean water can change daily life. Your examples now are very general.
task response
Give a fair point about artists and musicians too. Explain that they may help people feel happy, share culture, and bring people together. Then say why you still agree overall.
task response
Some ideas are not clear or do not support the question. For example, writing about minerals, plants, history, and the solar system needs a clear link to why society values scientists more.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason with the other side, and conclusion. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea in each body paragraph. The first body paragraph can be about how scientists improve life. The second can compare this with the value of art and music.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully: "First", "For example", "However", "As a result", and "In conclusion". Do not use long opening phrases when they do not add meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Write clear sentences with a subject and a verb. For example: "Scientists have made many discoveries." This is clearer than "Several discoveries was made by scientists."
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph should repeat your view clearly. Avoid new or unclear ideas such as fame and influence unless you explain how they answer the question.
task response
You give a clear overall view: you agree that scientists and technology experts are valued more.
task response
You try to use examples about research and discoveries to support your view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as "Moreover", "Whereas", and "In addition", to connect ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • public safety
  • scientific research
  • technical expertise
  • practical solutions
  • medical breakthroughs
  • renewable energy
  • digital communication
  • highly paid profession
  • public recognition
  • emotional well-being
  • cultural identity
  • creative expression
  • raise social awareness
  • preserve traditional culture
  • quality of life
  • a balanced view
  • make a valuable contribution
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