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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university education should be free for everyone. Others believe that students should pay for their own education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued
that
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apply
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whether
education
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 should be free or not.
While
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 some people believe it should be free, others believe that
students
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 should pay for it
by
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apply
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themselves.
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
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apply
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perspectives before explaining why I believe that it should be free.
Body paragraph 1
The first perspective is that
students
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 should not be charged for university
education
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. The main reason for
this
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 is that
,
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 it is expensive and might not be affordable to everyone, making
students
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 drop out of college .
For example
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,
students
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 could not
persue
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pursue
 their higher
education
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 if universities charge
larger
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a larger
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 amount of fees.
Therefore
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, supporters of
this
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 view argue that
education
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 should be free to those who
could not
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cannot
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 afford fees
or
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, or
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 a minimal
amout
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amount
 should be asked during admission.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others argue that
,
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 student should pay for their own
education
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.
This
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 is mainly because it can make them responsible for their own choices. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen when a
post graduate
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postgraduate
 student
,
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apply
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 simultaneously
attend
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attends
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 college and work part- time.
This
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 could make them
self-sufficent
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self-sufficient
, responsible and mature enough to handle their own circumstances.
Although
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,
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this
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 argument has some merit, I
belive
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believe
 that everyone should have
right
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the right
show examples
 to
education
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 free of cost, so that teenagers can achieve their higher studies without any financial burden.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there are valid arguments on both
the
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apply
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sides, I believe that access to learning and gaining
knowlege
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knowledge
 should be provided at minimal fees or free.
This
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 is because it will literate underprivelleged population irrespective of their financial status.

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task response
You answer all parts of the task: you show both views and give your own view. To make your ideas stronger, explain more clearly why free study helps both students and the country.
task response
Your first main point is clear: many students cannot pay high fees. Add one more clear result, such as more skilled workers or more equal chances for poor students.
task response
Your second view needs more detail. Paying fees may make students take study more seriously, but working while studying can also make study hard. Explain this point before you disagree with it.
task response
Your examples are linked to the topic, but they are quite general. Give a more real example, such as a student from a low-income home who cannot enter a course because of fees.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example: “As a result”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “In contrast”. Do not put a comma after “that” or “although” in these sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the second body paragraph, first explain why people support payment, then give your own reply in a new sentence or a new paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea in different words too often, such as “free”, “minimal fees”, and “without financial burden”. State your view in one direct and steady way.
task response
You clearly state your own view in the introduction and repeat it in the conclusion.
task response
You discuss both sides fairly before giving your final view.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and fit the question.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph starts with a clear main point, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • financial background
  • economic growth
  • burden of student debt
  • institutional funding
  • equitable access
  • student responsibility
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce development
  • innovation
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