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Writing Samples
Band 3

Many People are buying ready to eat food and not cooking for themselves. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages? Give Real life Examples.

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Introduction
It is argued that many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to buy ready-to-eat
meals
Use synonyms
 rather than cook for themselves. These sorts of
meals
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 are more convenient for busy workers and save them a significant amount of time.
Although
Linking Words
ready to eat
Correct your spelling
ready-to-eat
food
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages, I believe its advantages
outwheigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 them, particularly for
people
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 with busy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
First of all,
this
Linking Words
 trend helps workers to have
ready
Add an article
a ready
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 meal
in
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on
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 overwhelming working days. Most of these
people
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 are working parents, other workers, and students,
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 don't have enough time to cook.
For example
Linking Words
, there are young students who don't have the cooking skill
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 by buying
ready to eat
Correct your spelling
ready-to-eat
Use synonyms
meals
Punctuation problem
meals,
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 they can get the energy to continue their busy working or studying day.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it helps
people
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to
Rephrase
not to
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 don't skip a meal
in
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on
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 a busy day.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, ready-to-eat
food
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 may have disadvantages. As they
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 higher
amount
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amounts
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 of salt, sugar,
fat
Correct word choice
and fat
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Punctuation problem
,
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which can cause health problems.
This
Linking Words
 ready to eat
meals
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 could
therefore
Linking Words
 be more expensive than preparing
food
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 at home.
However
Linking Words
, it is popular among
people
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 because of saving their time.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there are disadvantages with having
ready to eat
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ready-to-eat
meals
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 rather than
home made
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homemade
food
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, it is healthier than fast
foods
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food
show examples
 and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to get the nutrients they need.

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task response
Give a clearer answer in the first part. Say that the good points are stronger, and name the main reason: saving time for busy people.
task response
Explain both sides more fully. For example, say how much time ready meals save, then explain how high salt, sugar, and fat may harm health over time.
task response
Use real examples with clear details. You mention students, but add a real-life case, such as a nurse who buys a meal after a long shift because she gets home late.
task response
Keep your final part in line with your main view. The line about ready meals being healthier than fast food is not proved in the essay and may not always be true.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. This is a good base. Make each body part begin with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple, clear words. For example: "As a result, they are less likely to miss meals." Avoid unclear links such as "Consequently, it helps people to don't skip a meal."
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body part flow better: first discuss health, then cost, then explain why people still choose these meals. This will make the contrast easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating "ready to eat food" many times. Use "these meals", "this food", or "such products" after the first mention.
task response
You answer both the good and bad sides and give your own view that the good points are stronger.
task response
The ideas about busy workers, parents, and students are relevant to the question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall order: opening, good points, bad points, and final view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as "First of all", "On the other hand", "However", and "In conclusion".
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ready-to-eat meals
  • convenience food
  • pre-packaged food
  • busy lifestyle
  • save valuable time
  • a quick meal option
  • limited cooking skills
  • skip a meal
  • high in salt and sugar
  • processed ingredients
  • food preservatives
  • a balanced diet
  • health risks
  • long-term health problems
  • household budget
  • cost more than home-cooked food
  • develop cooking skills
  • rely heavily on
  • make informed food choices
  • eat on the go
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