IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The two plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and 2010.

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The pair of plans illustrates the spatial
organization
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organisation
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 of the ground
floor
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 of a museum in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the museum’s ground
floor
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 has become more accessible and appealing to the general public, with new areas added or existing ones
modernize
Wrong verb form
modernised
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. The most striking modification has been to the western and northwestern part of the
floor
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, where the
Archeology
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Archaeology
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 gallery has been divided into 2 new areas:
Children’s
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the Children’s
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 interactive zone and
Poster
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the Poster
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 display area.
Also
Linking Words
, the entrance has been widened,
while
Linking Words
 the reception counter has been reangled and moved closer to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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it. Another noticeable change is in the northeastern
side
Punctuation problem
side,
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 where the gift shop’s layout has been expanded to seamlessly integrate a new café into the space.
This
Linking Words
 alteration has led to the relocation of the monument from the northwestern part of the
floor
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 to the
center
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centre
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 of it. At the same time, moving upstairs has been facilitated by the inclusion of a lift right between
Natural
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the Natural
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history room
Capitalize the proper name
History Room
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 and
Café
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the Café
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 and gift shop. Taken as a whole, the ground
floor
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 of the museum has undergone a number of significant changes from 1990
until
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to
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 2010.

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task response
Give a clearer main view of the biggest changes. For example, say that the old west gallery was split into two new public areas, and that new visitor services were added.
task response
Check every map detail carefully. The report should name all key changes, but it should not add details that are not clear in the plans. Make sure the place and direction of each change are right.
task response
Use more exact map words. Say where each area was before and where it is now. This will make the description more full and easy to check.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, main changes, and end. To make it even easier to follow, group changes by area: first the west side, then the east side, then the middle and stairs.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences contain too many changes at once. Split them into two short sentences so that each sentence has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links such as “In the west”, “On the east side”, “In the centre”, and “Finally”. This will show the reader how the plan description moves from place to place.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear words such as “it” when there are several possible places. Repeat the key noun, such as “the entrance” or “the ground floor”, when needed.
task response
The opening gives a clear description of what the two plans show, and the main view correctly notes that the museum became more open to visitors.
task response
You identify several important changes, including the new children’s area, poster area, café, wider entrance, moved monument, and new lift.
coherence and cohesion
The report has a useful overall statement near the start and follows it with details from different parts of the museum.
coherence and cohesion
Place words such as “western”, “northwestern”, and “northeastern” help the reader follow the changes on the plans.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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