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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Art classes, such as painting or drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In today's society, there has been an ongoing debate regarding how
art
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classes
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 affect children. A group of individuals believe that engaging in
art
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classes
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 should be compulsory in high school.
However
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, others claim that
students
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are better
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have the right to attend it or not.
Therefore
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, ahead of my opinion, both viewpoints will be discussed
further
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.
Body paragraph 1
Examining the former opinion, it is essential to
recognize
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recognise
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 that
art
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classes
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 should not be underestimated. An aspect to consider
that
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is that
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 taking part in these sessions can play a crucial role in promoting
natural
Add an article
a natural
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 sense of
art
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 in
students
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. which highlights that observing masterpieces
nurture
Correct subject-verb agreement
nurtures
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 their soul and feeling,
widen
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widens
show examples
 their understanding and knowledge. Another important point to
emphasize
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emphasise
show examples
 is that participating in artistic
classes
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 protects
students
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 from overload.
This
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arises
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raises
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 the fact that engaging in painting or drawing can serve as a means of relaxing
over
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from
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 studying.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it is necessary to examine the opposing viewpoint that
childrens
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children
 are the ones to decide
will they
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whether they will
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 attend it or not. A noteworthy factor to explore is
about
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apply
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arranging time.
Which
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This
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 underscores that they should
prioritize
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prioritise
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 their time for subjects which they actually want to learn. To
examplify
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exemplify
, most
of
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apply
show examples
students
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 nowadays enjoy a group of subjects
instead
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 of all. It is harder to be well in all of it. Many individuals believe
students
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 are better spending their time on
value
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valuable
 subjects
such
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 as mathematics, chemistry, physics and so on. Which
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a more important role
for
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in
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 shaping their future career paths than
art
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.
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?
show examples
Conclusion
To conclude
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 and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for
against
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and against
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 the advantages and
disavantages
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disadvantages
 of adding
art
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 into school as a subject.
However
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,
i
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I
show examples
 certainly favour the former opinion.

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task response
State your own view clearly in the first part. You say both sides will be discussed, but the question asks if you agree or disagree. Say at once that you agree art should be a must, then explain why.
task response
Give stronger reasons for your view. For example, art can help students think in new ways, share feelings, and take a break from hard school work. Explain how each point helps children.
task response
Use a real and clear example. Instead of saying that most students like some subjects, describe how a student may use drawing to feel calm after a busy day of maths and science.
task response
Develop the other side fairly, but show why it is less strong. You could say that students need time for subjects they like, yet one art class each week would not stop them from doing well in other subjects.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explanation, example, and short link back to the question. Some ideas now stop too soon or move to a new point too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words in a natural way. Do not begin many sentences with "Which" or "This arises the fact". Try simple links such as "For example", "Also", "However", and "As a result".
coherence and cohesion
Keep your point of view the same from start to end. The last part supports art classes, but the middle gives a lot of space to the other side without clearly showing your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Write complete sentences. For example, change "which highlights that observing masterpieces nurture their soul" to "Seeing great art can help students grow their feelings and ideas."
task response
You discuss both sides of the issue and give a clear final view that supports art classes.
task response
Your ideas about art helping students relax and learn about art are relevant to children’s growth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, two main body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful signposts, such as "On the other hand" and "To conclude", to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Tolerance
  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Focus
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Mathematical abilities
  • Stress relief
  • Personal development
  • Self-discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Confidence
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
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