Art classes, such as painting or drawing, are as important for children’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In recent years, the issue of
art
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education has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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some individuals maintain that
art
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classes are less important than other subjects, I contend that they should be compulsory in high school.
This
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essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of
this
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viewpoint.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is essential to acknowledge the significant advantage associated with
art
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classes. A crucial consideration is that
art
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can develop childrens’ creativity, which highlights that
students
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can express their ideas in different ways.
For example
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, painting and drawing can encourage
students
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to use their imagination.
Furthermore
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,
art
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can help
students
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reduce stress, as creative activities can provide them with a relaxing break from academic studies.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to consider the opposing viewpoint that
art
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class should not be compulsory. A significant factor to explore is that
students
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have different interests, which underscores that some may prefer science or mathematics. To illustrate
this
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perspective, one might refer to
students
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who do not enjoy painting or drawing.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to highlight that the school curriculum is already
demending
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demanding
.
This
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assertion is supported by the fact that
students
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need enough time to focus on other important
subject
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subjects
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Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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students
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have different interests, I believe
art
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classes should be compulsory because they help children develop creativity, express themselves and broaden their perspective.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first part. Say that you agree that art should be a must, even though some students may not like it.
task response
Give more full reasons for your view. Explain how art helps with new ideas, self-expression, and a wider way of seeing the world.
task response
Use more real examples. For instance, explain how a drawing task can help a shy student share feelings, or how art can help a student think of new ways to solve a problem.
task response
The other side is fair, but answer it more strongly. You could say that schools can offer a small number of art hours, so students still have time for science, maths, and other work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. To make the flow better, make the second main part clearly show that it is the other view, then give your answer to it.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use the same long frame again and again, such as 'It is essential to' and 'A significant factor'. Use short, direct topic sentences instead.
coherence and cohesion
Link each example more closely to the point before it. After the example about painting, add a sentence that says how this builds creativity.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors that can make meaning less clear: use 'children's', 'demanding', 'art classes', and 'subjects' in the last sentence of the second main part.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and clearly state that art classes should be a must in high school.
task response
Your points about creativity and less stress are on topic and fit your main view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear linking words such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive skills
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Mental well-being
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Tolerance
  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Focus
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Mathematical abilities
  • Stress relief
  • Personal development
  • Self-discipline
  • Perseverance
  • Confidence
  • Teamwork
  • Collaboration
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