IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The two plans show changes to the ground
floor
Use synonyms
 of a museum in 1990 and 20 years later, in 2010.
Body paragraph 1
The most noticeable change was the placement of the statue. It was relocated from near the staircase to the centre of the ground
floor
Use synonyms
. Another significant alteration was the removal of the archaeology gallery, in the north-east corner,
thus
Linking Words
 creating space for two new areas: an interactive one for children and an area for poster display.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 the accessibility of the
floor
Use synonyms
 was improved by installing a lift. It is located between the Natural
history room
Capitalize the proper name
History Room
show examples
 and the Cafe and Gift
shop
Capitalize the proper name
Shop
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 the museum office remained the same, the reception counter was enlarged and placed separately, apart from the office. The gift shop was expanded to include a cafe area and was
subsequently
Linking Words
 renamed the Cafe and Gift
shop
Capitalize the proper name
Shop
show examples
, to reflect
this
Linking Words
 new function.
Conclusion
Taken as a whole, the ground
floor
Use synonyms
 of the museum underwent a number of significant modifications over the two decades, affecting almost every part of it.

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task response
Give a clearer overall view in the first or second paragraph. Say that the space was made more open and more useful for children and visitors.
task response
Add more key changes if they are shown on the plans. For example, report the main rooms that did not change as well as the rooms that were moved, made larger, or added.
task response
Be very exact about place. Check whether the lift is between the Natural History room and the cafe and gift shop, and use map words such as next to, opposite, at the end of, or in the centre.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is clear, but group changes by area of the plan. For example, describe the east side first, then the centre, then the west side.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to show the plan clearly, such as first, on the right, in the centre, while, and finally. This will make each change easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats the idea of many changes. Make it stronger by naming the main two or three changes instead of only saying that many parts changed.
task response
You report several important changes, including the new children’s area, poster display area, lift, larger reception, and cafe and gift shop.
task response
You make useful comparisons between the two years and explain why the shop was renamed.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, a main detail paragraph, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are linked in a natural way with words such as another, moreover, although, and subsequently.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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