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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement? *Give reasons for your answer

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
language
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 is very important
to communicate
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for communicating
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 with others.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that living in a region where you have to speak a foreign
language
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 can bring different
problems
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. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the topic and
expresss
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express
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 my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement. It is true that
language
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considers
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is considered
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 an important tool to communicate with
people
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, but it does not
reach to
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apply
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cause you serious
problems
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. A foreigner who lives abroad and he did not yet learn a
language
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that is
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 being spoken in the country
, he
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apply
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 will have support from others.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, there are many foreigners who are working or studying, and they do not speak Arabic at all. But
Saudi
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the Saudi
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people
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 always provide help and support. Even in public places, where you can find
people
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speak
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speaking
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 different
languages
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languages,
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 only to help non-Arabic speakers. But we have to admit that there are
countires
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countries
 known as being very racist countries, whoever does not speak the local
language
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 will have social and practical
problems
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. Some citizens of
such
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 nations
,
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apply
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 will cause
problems
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to
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for
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 foreigners.
However
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, these are
vey
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very
 few countries, and most of
other
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the other
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 countries welcome
people
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 from different backgrounds.
Moreover
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, living in a foreign country, where
people
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 speak a different
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language
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language,
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 will have a very positive impact on your personality.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I tend to believe that living in a country where you have to speak a foreign
language
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 will develop your character.

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Task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. You say you disagree, but later you say that some people can face social and daily problems. Explain why these cases do not change your main view.
Task response
Develop each main idea further. Explain what social problems may happen, such as feeling alone or finding it hard to make friends. Also explain practical problems, such as using transport, seeing a doctor, or dealing with forms.
Task response
Your Saudi Arabia example is useful, but it is too broad. Give one clear case, such as a new worker asking for help in a shop or at a hospital.
Task response
Answer both parts of the question in a balanced way. You focus more on help from local people, but you need to discuss both social and practical problems before giving your final view.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: first explain why language can cause problems, then explain why support and time can reduce them, and finally give your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The first body paragraph moves from support in Saudi Arabia to racism and then to personal growth. Split these ideas into separate paragraphs.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the change in your ideas: “However”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “In contrast”.
Coherence and cohesion
Make your ending stronger. It should repeat your main view and briefly sum up your two reasons, not only say that living abroad can build character.
Task response
You give a clear personal view and keep this view through most of the essay.
Task response
You include a real-world example about people living and working in Saudi Arabia.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, a main body, and an ending, so the reader can follow the basic shape.
Coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “To begin with”, “For example”, “However”, and “Moreover”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Communication barriers
  • Misunderstandings
  • Expressing needs
  • Emotions
  • Language proficiency
  • Integration
  • Local community
  • Culture
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