IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You have recently been in a sports centre and noticed some issues in the changing rooms. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the centre and say – What was the problem? – Explain why it is bothering you. – Suggest a possible solution.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my disappointment regarding the situation of the changing rooms at your sports centre.
Last
Linking Words
 week, I visited your facility with my family. My family
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and I had faced many problems
while
Linking Words
 using the changing rooms. I was using one of the lockers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 to securely stash my personal belongings, but almost all of the locks were faulty.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the floor was wet, and there were many wet clothes on the hangers. I firmly believe
,
Correct word choice
that
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 faulty locks can lead to personal property theft, and it may discourage people from visiting your centre. The wet floors are always an invitation to accidents, and these types of hazards can downplay the reputation of recreational places. Wet cloths can lead to health issues, and guests may attract health concerns. The lockers should be secured by installing new locks, and the housekeeping department should wipe the floors thoroughly. The slippery floor signs should be placed
at
Change preposition
on
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 all the wet surfaces in changing areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, guests should be encouraged to place their wet clothes at right place. I will suggest
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 you should check all the rooms as soon
a
Rephrase
as
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 possible, and I hope these solutions will reverse the situation. Yours faithfully, S.

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task response
Say more clearly how the problems affected you and your family. For example, you may say that you did not feel safe leaving your things in a locker.
task response
Make your last request more direct. Ask the manager to check the rooms soon and tell members when the work is done.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: problems, why they matter, and ideas to fix them. Use fewer commas, as some break the flow of a sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same word form. Write “wet clothes”, not “wet cloths”. Also write “in the right place” and “as soon as possible”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas can be made clearer. Instead of “guests may attract health concerns”, say “wet clothes may cause health problems”.
task response
You cover all the main parts of the letter: the problems, why they are serious, and ways to fix them.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with separate parts for the problem, its effects, and your suggestions.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and fit a formal letter.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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