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Band 5.5

The table and charts below give inforation on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 on one area of Britian. The table shows whee the money come from and the charts show how it was distribited.

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The table and charts below give inforation on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 on one area of Britian. The table shows whee the money come from and the charts show how it was distribited.
The table chart delineates three distinct sources from which the
money
Use synonyms
 was collected for the police
budget
Use synonyms
 2017-2018 in one area of
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
,
while
Linking Words
distribution
Add an article
the distribution
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 is illustrated in the pie charts.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the table chart, in
2017
Punctuation problem
2017,
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 received from the local taxes for the police
budget
Use synonyms
 was 91.2m, in the next year,
this
Linking Words
 figure increased by around 11.1m.
While
Linking Words
 the corresponding figures for national government and other
soruces
Correct your spelling
sources
 (grants) were nearly similar in both periods, around 175.6m and 38m respectively. As per the pie graphs, in 2017, the 75% of
this
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent on salaries
holders
Change preposition
of holders
show examples
 (officers and staff),
whereas
Linking Words
 in the following year
this
Linking Words
 share declined by 6%. Interestingly, expenditure on buildings and transport
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 similar from 2017 to 2018 at 17%
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
technology
Add an article
the technology
show examples
 field was
least
Add an article
the least
show examples
 popular in both periods.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the funding for
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from the national government,
whereas
Linking Words
 more than
two-third
Fix the agreement mistake
two-thirds
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 is
charged for salaries to
Correct word order
spent on salaries for
show examples
 officers and staff.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, budget, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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