IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, when a product breaks or stops working, people trend to throw it away and buy a new one rather tahn reparing it, as people used to do. why do you think this is happening? what problems dose it cause?

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Introduction
One of the most pressing issues in recent years is that
people
Use synonyms
 purchase a large
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
products
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 even though they are unnecessary.
This
Linking Words
 trend is attributable to business advertisements and a culture of excessive purchasing. I believe wasting
products
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 can have several negative
impact
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impacts
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 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 and society.
Body paragraph 1
There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to replace
products
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. First of all, in modern society, purchasing new
products
Use synonyms
 is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
 and affordable
rather
Correct word choice
apply
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than repairing and paying for service stores.
For example
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, a large number of
chinese eletrinic
Correct your spelling
Chinese electronic
 devices are
unbelieveablely
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unbelievably
 cheaper.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 are less likely to feel under pressure on buying new
products
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.
Furthermore
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, businesses and advertisements encourage
people
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 to purchase
new
Punctuation problem
new,
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 updated models by promoting attractive designs and cutting-edge functions.
Linking Words
This
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These
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 advertisements tend to persuade customers to replace new models, resulting in unnecessary disposal of
products
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.
Body paragraph 2
I hold that replacing
products
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 frequently can lead to significant negative impacts.
Firstly
Linking Words
, increasing disposal of unwanted
products
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contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 to environmental damage. A large amount of trash
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
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 up accumulating in landfills.
Also
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, the process of producing
proudcts
Correct your spelling
products
 and replacement goods
consume
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consumes
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 natural resources and
generate
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generates
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 pollution, placing additional pressure on the environment.
Besides
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, excessive consuming have a detrimental impact on individuals. One of the primary reasons is that extreme consumerism can lead
people
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 to value convenience and visual appeal over sustainability and environmental responsibility.
Conclusion
Overall
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,
while
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 I acknowledge repairing used
products
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 can be
inconvenience
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inconvenient
 and a hassle,
people
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 should take responsibility for their used
products
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 and repair them whenever
it is
Fix the agreement mistake
they are
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 repairable, and
olde
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older
 generations pass on sustainable
habite
Correct your spelling
habits
 to next generations for the future.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. Explain not only why new goods are cheap and easy to buy, but also why repair shops may cost more or take more time. For the problems, add a clear problem for people, such as debt or waste of money.
task response
Keep your main idea close to the question. The first line says people buy things they do not need, but the question is about throwing away broken things. Start with repair and replacement instead.
task response
Use one clear, real example. For example, say that a phone with a small fault may be thrown away because a new low-cost phone costs less than repair work. This will make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. To make the links clearer, use simple signposts such as “One reason is…”, “Another reason is…”, “This causes…”, and “As a result…”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main point. In the last body paragraph, first explain harm to nature, then put harm to people in a separate paragraph or explain it with a fuller link.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the subject and verb do not match. For example, write “This trend has several negative impacts on the environment and society” and “A large amount of trash ends up in landfills.”
task response
You answer both parts of the question: you give reasons for replacement and explain harm to the environment and to people.
task response
Your point about ads pushing new models is clear and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape: an introduction, reasons, problems, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First of all”, “Furthermore”, “Firstly”, and “Overall” help the reader follow your main path.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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