The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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The diagram
illustates
Verb problem
illustrates
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how the bees make
honey
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and the
stages
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in the production of
honey
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,showing the different
stages
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involved in the
process
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.
Overall
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,the
process
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consists of six main
stages
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beginning with the queen
bee
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buts egg in
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honeycomb
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a honeycomb
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and ending with leaving
nectar
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the nectar
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hive with the
honey
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.It is
cyclical
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a cyclical
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process
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,in which the
honey
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goes through several
stages
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before the
honey
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is ready to be used.
At the first stage
Linking Words
,the queen
bee
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buts
egg
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an egg
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in
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honeycomb
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the honeycomb
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.
Following
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this
Linking Words
,after three days
later
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,
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the egg will be
larva
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a larva
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.A week
later
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later,
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the larva will be fully grown.After that,
three
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in three
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more weeks
the
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, the
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bee
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is leaving
Wrong verb form
will leave
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the hive.Once
this
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stage has been completed,
th ebee
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the bee
will gather nectar from flowers.
Finally
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,the
bee
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leaves nectar in
haves-
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honey
honey
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,
thus
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completing the
process
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. The production of
honey
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is started
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starts
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with removing the
honeycomb
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from the hive by
beekeeper
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the beekeeper
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.After that,
honeycomb
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will be
putted
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put
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in the machine ,in which to
extact
Correct your spelling
extract
the
honey
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.In the following stage,the
honey
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will be boiled to clean form any
staff
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impurities
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.After that,the
honey
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will be
butted
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put
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into jars.
Finally
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,the jars will be distributed and sold.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, stages, process, bee, honeycomb with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foraging
  • nectar
  • proboscis
  • regurgitate
  • worker bees
  • digestion
  • evaporation
  • honeycomb
  • hexagonal wax cells
  • moisture content
  • consistency
  • preserve
  • colony
  • long-term storage
  • food source
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