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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

More and more people are buying food that is ready to eat rather than choosing to eat home-cooked food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
nowadays it is widely believed that fast
food
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 is unhealthy
and
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, and
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 most
people
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 spends hueg money
for
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on
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 it plays a significant role in our
society
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society,
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while
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 there are several clear advantages associated with ready
food
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 to eat
it
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. It
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also
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 brings notable disadvantages
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. This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will
dicuss
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discuss
 both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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issu
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issue
Body paragraph 1
on
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On
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 the one
hand
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hand,
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 one of the main advantages
of pay
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apply
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of ready
food
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 is that it is very eassy most
people
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they
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who do
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 not have
a
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apply
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time
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. Also,
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also
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 most
people
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did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not
preape
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prepare
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food
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food,
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 so they
going to pay
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go for
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 ready
food
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. As
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as a
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result
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result,
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of that
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apply
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people
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 save
thier
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their
 time
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. Therefore,
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therefore
Linking Words
it is clear that
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 ready
food
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 offers
valuble
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valuable
 benefits to individuals and society
Body paragraph 2
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on
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On
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 the other
hand
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hand,
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 a major drawback of pay ready
food
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 is that
main
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the main
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 disadvantage
to illustrate
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is that
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this
Linking Words
 point
people
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spand
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spend
 much moeny
for example
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 reastrunt and caffe always full
in
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for
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 whole days
Linking Words
Add a semicolon
; hence
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hence
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hence,
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 the negative aspects of pay ready
food
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 cannot be ignored
Conclusion
in
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In
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conclusion
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conclusion,
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while
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 pay ready
food
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 presents significant benefits
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such
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, such
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 as
it is very helps
Wrong verb form
helping
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people
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to the
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apply
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save
our
Correct determiner usage
apply
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time
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,
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it
is
Verb problem
apply
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also
Linking Words
 has noticeable drawbacks
including
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, including
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Use synonyms
people
Check wording
the fact that people
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 spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 budget
for
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on
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 ready
food
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in
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. In
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 my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the advantages outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
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 if
people
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 use it wisely

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part: say if the good points are more important than the bad points. Then make your two main body parts support this same view.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain why ready-to-eat food saves time, and explain why spending more money is a problem for people or families.
task response
Use a real and clear example. For example, a worker may buy food after work because there is no time to cook, but buying it every day can cost much more than cooking at home.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two main parts, and end. Keep this shape, but make each main part follow: main idea, reason, example, short result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Do not use many links in one long sentence. Use simple links such as “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your words the same throughout. Use “ready-to-eat food” or “fast food” in all parts. Do not change it to “pay ready food”, because this is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Write shorter sentences with full stops. This will make your ideas easier to read and will help stop run-on sentences.
task response
You talk about both sides: saving time and spending more money. These are both on-topic ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph starts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Your final part gives your own view, which is important for this question.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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