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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people choose a career according to the social status, or salary. Others choose a career according to their interests. So what do you think is the best what to choose a career? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Introduction
In today's world, choosing a
career
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 is one of the most important decisions
people
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 make in their
lifes
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lives
.
Majority
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The majority
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 choose a
career
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according to
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the
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their
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 social
status
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 or
salary
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,
while
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 others choose their
jobs
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 with passion. In
this
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 essay, I will examine both decisions thoroughly, and I will give my opinion about the situation.
Body paragraph 1
Some
people
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 have chosen their careers since childhood
from
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, from
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 doing volunteer work
into
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to
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 having a full-time
job
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.
Meanwhile
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Meanwhile,
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 others start to do different amateur stuff to detect the best profession for them. There are two main reasons why
people
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 choose a
career
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Linking Words
according
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: according
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 to social
status
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 and
salary
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.
Firstly
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,
It
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it
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 is essential for the employees to have a
job
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 with a high
salary
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,
and
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apply
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which will help them to achieve
a
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apply
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higher positions in
the
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their
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career
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.
Secondly
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, most
people
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’s dream
job
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 is the
job
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 with a high
salary
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. Not everyone can achieve their dream
job
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 because of some circumstances like availability, country and difficulty, so
that
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apply
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they prefer to have another
job
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 which will preserve their high
status
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 and
salary
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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 there are
people
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 who are able to have the
job
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 they were interested in.
Body paragraph 3
In some cases, they succeeded
to have a
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in having
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 their dream
career
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 with a solid
salary
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.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 choose their
jobs
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 in the vicinity, which helps them to get there
easier
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more easily
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. They choose easy
jobs
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 to evade problems that may appear during the work.
People
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also
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 choose their
jobs
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 to avoid conflicts which may appear in
wrong
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the wrong
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 environment.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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people
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 choose their
jobs
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 based on their preferences. Some
people
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 choose high
career
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 opportunities, some choose to work in
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 environment. The best option will be to find a
job
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 which will have both your interests and will have a high
salary
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 and a social
status
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.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part: say if pay and status, interest, or both are most important. Keep this same view in all parts of the essay.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain why a high salary matters, such as paying for a home or helping a family. Then explain why interest matters, such as doing better work and feeling happy.
task response
Add real and clear examples. For example, a doctor may earn a lot but may not enjoy long work hours; a teacher may love helping children but may need enough pay to live well.
task response
Some ideas are not fully linked to the question. The points about working near home, easy jobs, and avoiding conflict need a clearer link to career choice.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each body part. One body part can be about money and status; the next can be about interest and personal fit.
coherence and cohesion
Make the links between sentences clearer. Use simple words such as “For example”, “Also”, “However”, “As a result”, and “Therefore” only when they show the right link.
coherence and cohesion
The short part beginning “On the other hand” needs more detail. Add a topic sentence, an explanation, and an example so it feels like a full body part.
coherence and cohesion
Your ending gives a balanced view, but make it stronger by restating why both interest and enough pay are important.
task response
You discuss both sides of the choice and give your own view at the end.
task response
Your main view is sensible: a good career can bring both personal interest and enough money.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use contrast words such as “while”, “meanwhile”, and “on the other hand” to show different views.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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