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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that technology has made people’s lives easier, while others think it has created new problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays ,
technology
Use synonyms
 has made two types of society . The first type of individuals think that the
technology
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made
Correct word order
has made life
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life
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as easier and
confortable
Correct word choice
more comfortable
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.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 other members of society have
onther
Correct your spelling
another
 point
to
Change preposition
of view on
show examples
 the topic
they
Add a semicolon
; they
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 said that the
technology
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a lot of new issues .
Moreover
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 , from
prospective
Add an article
a prospective
show examples
 , I
beleive
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believe
 that the technological advancement will make
life
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 easier .
Body paragraph 1
One
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On
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 the one hand , the
tochnology
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technology
such
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 as
,
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apply
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ai
Capitalize the proper name
AI
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 and autonomous driving in cars will give the world
a
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apply
show examples
good results .
For instance
Linking Words
 , the
researche
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research
 that
happend
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happened
 in the UK on oxford universty in 2025 about the evolution of
technology
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 and artificial intelligence after a long studey the sum up
,
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apply
show examples
of the reseach thay said the
life
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 will be very easy
but
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, but
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 it will lead to a lot of bad
habites
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habits
.
For example
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 ,
the driving
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apply
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in CHINA a lot of city the taxy without the driver that will couse to dicrease the
employees numbers
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number of employees
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.
Moreover
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 , it will be more dengrouse to the passengers .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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 , if technological advancement increases significantly over
time
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time,
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 citizens will become lazy in
our
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their lives
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life
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 .
Conversely
Linking Words
 , people thought
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 the tochnological become more
over
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advanced over
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 time that will help
the
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apply
show examples
society
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 that will not happen .
Becouse
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Because
 that will demonstrate the
heath
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healthy
 body
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
brain
Add an article
the brain
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 and eyes .
Conclusion
In conclusion , I think the
technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 both bad and good think but it depends on the users .
For example
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 , if people overuse the tchnology that will be a harmfull to the
usres
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users
. I
strongley
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strongly
 believe that
technological
Replace the word
technology
 will not stop here and we should learn how to use it .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , excessive use of anything in
life
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 is harmful ,
while
Linking Words
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 it in moderation is beneficial .

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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. This is good. However, make each side clearer: explain how technology makes life easier, then explain how it can cause new problems.
task response
Your main ideas need more clear support. For example, say that AI can save time in hospitals or homes, but it may take some jobs. Then explain why this matters to people.
task response
Some examples are not clear or may not be true, such as the Oxford study. Use a simple, clear example that you can explain well. You do not need to name a study or a school.
task response
Your opinion is mostly clear: technology makes life easier if people use it well. State this in one direct sentence in the first paragraph, and keep the same view in the last paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion. This gives it a basic clear shape. Make the first main paragraph only about benefits and the second main paragraph only about problems.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas change direction inside a paragraph. In the first body paragraph, you start with good results but then move to job loss and danger. Put job loss and danger in the second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a clear way: 'On the one hand' for benefits, 'On the other hand' for problems, and 'For example' before one example. Do not use too many link words when the idea is not finished.
coherence and cohesion
Write shorter sentences. This will help the reader follow your meaning. Check words like 'because', 'technology', 'people', and 'harmful' so your message is easy to understand.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of technology, and you give your own view at the start and end.
task response
You use useful examples about AI, self-driving taxis, jobs, and health. These are linked to the question.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and helpful phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to your main idea that technology should be used in a careful way.
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