In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work and communicate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In recent years, the increasing use of
technology
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in people’s lives has emerged as a significant concern for the general public.
While
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some individuals contend that
this
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development has some negative consequences, I maintain that the advances can serve as a means of modern life.
This
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essay will elucidate these differing perspectives.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is essential to acknowledge the significant disadvantages associated with using the Internet for daily activities. A crucial consideration is that a lack of real -world interaction, which highlights that citizens spend less time communicating together.
For example
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, it is noteworthy that young people active online too much may find it difficult to interact in real life.
In addition
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, another important point to emphasise is cybersecurity threats.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that Users may become victims of scams or cyber-criminals.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to consider the opposing viewpoint that
technology
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opens the gateway to make lives more convenient and flexible. A significant factor to explore is that individuals can conduct numerous daily activities via smartphones. To illustrate
this
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perspective, one might refer to shopping online, working remotely without travelling or staying at home.
Therefore
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, it is a great way to spend quality time for oneself, family and friends.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to highlight that cutting-edge
technology
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facilitates access to information or entertainment.
For example
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, students can find knowledge on the internet for learning.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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using the internet for daily activities may reduce social interaction and expose users to safety
.
Check wording
risks.
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I firmly believe that
technology
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serves as an efficient way to make convenient and flexible lives. The benefit outweighs these disadvantages.

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task response
Give your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that this is mainly a positive change, but it also has some risks.
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Explain why each point matters. For example, say how online work saves travel time, or how less face-to-face talk can harm close ties.
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Use more real and clear examples. Instead of only saying that students find knowledge online, explain how online lessons help students in small towns.
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Fix the last line of the conclusion. Write: “The benefits outweigh the drawbacks.” This makes your final view clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence of each body paragraph more direct. For example: “One drawback is less real-life contact.” This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat long linking phrases such as “it is essential to” and “a significant factor.” Use short links: “First,” “Also,” “For example,” and “As a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Join ideas more smoothly. The sentence about online shopping, work, and staying at home is unclear. Split it into two short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar points that affect flow: write “real-world,” “young people who spend too much time online,” and “convenient and flexible lives.”
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear overall view that online life is mostly helpful.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: less real-life contact, online crime, ease of daily tasks, and easy access to learning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because each main paragraph focuses on one side of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.”
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online shopping
  • remote work
  • virtual meetings
  • contactless transactions
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • efficiency
  • time-saving
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • social interaction
  • fraud
  • misuse
  • dependency
  • technology
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